Me and My Rose Colored Glasses

16 Months

2008-07-11T15:19:00.004-04:00

Dear Gracie,

You make me so tired, but you are so stinkin' worth it. Let's see, you do so much now, that it's hard to remember what you were doing before and what you are doing now. First of all, you are talking, talking, talking. I love it. Mommy got a new schedule this month, and now gets to spend Wednesdays with you. This past Wednesday, we went to the pool at Aunt Bino's house. You didn't like it at all. You swim all the time at Heather's, but I suppose it's different because it is a kiddie pool. We'll try agina and see if you'll get used to it. There was a little girl there that was a few months older than you, and she was a little fish. She loved the water and jumped in...you, not so much.

So far, we have survived the plethora of summer activities. Your cousin Britiny graduated. We attended the English family reunion. You saw fireworkd (and loved them). You have been great throughout. Next week we head out for our family vacation. We are going to Pittsburgh to ensure the car ride is not too long for you to handle. In case you are wondering, it is difficult to find activities that suit you AND your 12 year old sister. However, I think Daddy and I did ok.

Some words you are saying....gramma, papa, apple juice, cookie, banana. There are many many more, but these are some good ones. One day, I bought a package of fruit snacks that were smiley faces. When I took one out of the package, I made it say hello to you. You now refer to the fruit snacks as hellos. It is seriously the cutest thing I have ever heard. You were standing in the kitchen one day pointing to the container saying "hello". Priceless.

Also, when anyone asks you, "who's mommy's (or gramma's or daddy's or anyone else's) baby, you point to yourself and say, "me". Also super cute.

The doc also said that we should be brushing your teeth. I looked at him like he was crazy when he said it, but surprisingly, you love it. You remind me about it most nights. Good job...you don't want to be the girl with dog breath.

You also like to kiss everyone and you love your cousin Abby. You said her name all the way (and I mean all the way) to Geneva-on-the-Lake Wednesday. You both really love each other as you can see by the pic.

You are offering a whole new set of challenges and developing your own personality every day. I usually can't believe your mine. I just can't imagine how I ever lived my life without having you be a part of it. There is nothing like coming home from work and seeing your face and have you yell, "mommy!!!!" and right to my arms. I love you.

Love,

Mommy

Already an Update

2008-06-17T14:21:00.002-04:00

Dear Gracie,
I know I am early for a monthly letter, but your recent change in attitude has warranted a new post. I knew eventually our luck would run out with having an angelic kid. For the past 15 plus months, you have done nothing but smile, laugh, giggle, say funny things etc. Hardly ever did you protest to anything. Well, you have changed. Yesterday, and for probably a week now, you have developed an attitude and became stubborn. I know I have your dad to blame for it, but I was hoping you would remain as good natured as I am (at least as I am most of the time). I think we may be entering what some call "the terrible twos" and you have just decided to be ahead of the curve. I am just going to ask...Please stop screaming. I don't think I can handle it. Your are certainly making an argument for being an only child. That's for sure.

On a lighter note. We bought you a potty. You sit on it. No going yet, but you'll get there. Last night you sat on the potty, said "pee pee" and then peed on the floor. Thanks. I know that all it will take is for you to "accidentally" go in the potty, we will cheer, and you will want to continue to go so you can clap and say "yay" with us. Then, bye bye diapers. Then, we move to the bink. (insert doom music).

Well, those are the updates for now. I will write soon.

I love you,
Mommy

15 Months

2008-06-03T17:00:00.005-04:00

Dear Gracie,

Today, your dad and I took you to the doctor for you 15 month check up. Well, you don't care much for him or his nurse. They are nothing but nice to and think you're cute, but I think you know their game. For some reason you do not like people to look in your eyes, ears, or mouth. He shined the light in your eyes, and you gave him a look like you would kill him if you had the chance. He reported that you are in the 25th percentile of height and weight (meaning 75% of the kids out there your age are bigger than you are). You hit the big 20 pound threshold weighing in at 20 lbs. 2 oz. Yeah, I don't think the WNBA is in your future, but a co-worker of mine said Spud Webb was only 5'6", so maybe there is hope. Although, if you saw your dad or me play sports, you would understand why the liklihood of you being a professional athlete of any kind is slim to none. Sorry. Hopefully, you are ok with being nerdy. Speaking of nerdy, the doctor also reports that you have achieved and mostly surpassed all the milestones for your age. Already an overachiever - nice job.

"Happy Feet" is your favorite game. All it consists of is me singing happy feet over and over and you moving your feet as fast as possible. You have also learned to march and jump. One day a few weeks ago, you woke up from a nap and decided that you were going to talk. You started saying "Alli" which actually sounds like "Addi". Good enough. When you learn a new word...you repeat it and repeat it and repeat it. Like...Hi, Mommy, Daddy, Addi. You will repeat these words until I almost can't take it anymore. Also, this past month, you have decided that it is no longer necessary to give people open mouth kisses. Good choice.
Grandma Rose retired, and you were wonderfully behaved at both her parties. Thanks for that. You always seem to manage to make your dad and I look like we know what we're doing. We appreciate it. Now, you and Grandma can spend oodles of time together. She's a softie, so no worries.

Well, I'm sure there will be more to write about, but these are the biggies. I am about to go home from work and see your smiling, beautiful face. You have changed my life Marigrace, and you are truly a special kid. I love you.

Love,

Mommy

I have been inspired...

2008-05-29T10:44:00.002-04:00

So, I have been reading Heather Armstrong's blog (www.dooce.com), and I am inspired to do a similar thing. No, not to make money, sell ads, or anything like that. It is to document the life of my daughter. So, many times I wish I took the time to write down things she did because they are wonderful stories to tell later on. Time goes so fast that sometimes I forget what she used to be like - even though she is only 15 months old! So, I am going to blog again. Next Up....MG at 15 months.

Ho Hum

2008-03-19T16:56:00.002-04:00

Knowing that not very many people read this anymore, I feel a little better about what I'm about to write. Sometimes I look at everyone else's blogs and wish their life was mine. Everyone is out together, having fun, taking pictures, being social, having friends. I have none of it. I live in a world of housework, baby diapers, and work. I get out with Tom. I had a great weekend, but sometimes I just find myself being sad. I brush it off as the weather. I say to myself, "it will be different in the summer. You're just suffering from the normal winter blues." Maybe that is true. But deep down I think it is something more. I feel like I live in the movie Groundhog Day. I wake up and do everything over and over and over and over again. I don't know the answer. Maybe it is just life. This is just what happens. Still, I look at other blogs and wish I was there. I wish I could magically jump into the computer and be somewhere, share an inside joke, laugh. I don't know the answer. I don't have a solution. I don't know that there are any. Grrr.

Stuff

2007-10-08T14:50:00.001-04:00

First, Go ABC with your new line up this fall. I love Dirty Sexy Money, Big SHots, and Pushing Daisies. Of course I am also a fan of the old stand-by - The Bachelor. Don't judge me. I think almost all the shows we are watching this fall are on ABC. Our luck, though, they will be cancelled. All the shows we loved last season are gone. Maybe that says something about our taste.

At the new job. Loving it. They got me rolling on work on the first day, so I have kept busy. I have a ton of training and what not coming up. It will be great!

That's all for now.

New Beginnings

2007-09-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

Ah, I sit at my desk on my second to last day of work at a company I have been with for six years. I am filled with emotions of excitement, nervousness, anticipation, and a whole host of others. I recently accepted a position as CWRU in their Corporate Relations Department. Inevitably, when you start a new job, you begin to wonder if you can live up to the BS that you laid out in an interview. People have expectations of what you will be like. It always works out, and you always "get it" and do well. But there is always that first worry of failure. That you can't possilby live up to what they think you are. Then, six months from now, you laugh at the idea that you would have failed.

I'm so excited to start my new adventure. I have never worked outside the corporate world, and I look forward to the change. I don't know what to expect, and I'm trying not to set any expectations. All I know is this is the best move I have made in my working life so far. This could be a job where I really feel like I make a difference in the world, and it may be more than just about profits and shareholders. I'm ready for my new beginning.

Wow...has it really been this long

2007-08-13T07:35:00.001-04:00

I know, I know. I haven't posted in forever. No one probably even looks at this anymore. I will try to do a better job of keeping up. This summer has been so busy. Taryn got here 4th of July weekend - it has been a whirlwind since. She goes home on Saturday, and I start school next Saturday. I don't think things will be slowing down any time soon. The baby is wonderful, and so is being a mom. I couldn't have imagined how wonderful it would be! We also have a new house that we moved into in June. It is so nice to have so much more space and a yard. It is a lot of work, though. That's pretty much how we have spent our summer. I am posting pictures of Marigrace below. These are the most recent pics I have. We went to the zoo a couple of weeks ago, and that's where these are from. Although, by the pics you can't tell we were at the zoo, because she is in her stroller.

Finally Have the Time to Post

2007-03-14T12:04:00.000-04:00

Well, she's here. It was certainly worth the wait. So far, motherhood is everything I hoped it would be. I love her to bits...

I tried to upload photos, but it's not working.

Here are the specifics, though:

Marigrace Elizabeth St. Angelo
Born: March 2, 2007 @ 9:59 PM
Weight: 7 lbs. 14oz.
Length: 20-3/4" long

I will try to get some pics up here, or enlist Kristen's help next time she is here.

Well, The Due Date Has Passed

2007-02-26T09:28:00.000-05:00

It is now Monday - still no baby. The doctor said on Friday "On a scale of 1-10 of being ready, you are at about a 3." Yeah, I was only 1-2 cm dialated. She basically is not coming out. So, we are going on Thursday night to get induced. I will start medication on Thursday night that thins the cervix and start petocin on Friday morning. With any luck, she will be born on Friday. I'm hoping it doesn't last into Saturday. I am maintaining a good attitude, and am actually a bit relieved that it is playing out this way. I am a planner. I like to know when things are happening, and now I can prepare and plan for this too. We are going to spend this week cleaning and doing laundry - generally just getting ready. Then, I may even go for a pedicure and give myself a manicure. I think I may prefer it this way. So, unless by some miracle she decides to come earlier....Thursday/Friday is the time.

On another note, I watched the Oscars and they were pretty good. I only stayed awake until 10:30, which means I missed the best parts. I was so happy Allen Arkin won for best supporting actor because Little Miss Sunshine was my favorite movie this year. Although, it was the only movie I saw that was up for any awards. I guess my opinion doesn't count for much. I had also grown tired of the "green" message, so I was happy to crawl into bed and miss the end. I got to find out who won on the news this morning. Don't get me wrong...I like the earth, I just don't agree with Hollywood always having to promote their "messages". Entertain me. I could write an entire post that would probably real fire people up, but I'm not in the mood for an argument. I just don't think Hollywood people's opinion should be thrown in my face while I'm trying to be entertained. I'm not saying that to make anyone mad. Just how I feel. :)

Have a lovely Monday!

Week 39

2007-02-16T08:19:00.000-05:00

Well, week 39 has arrived. Tom and I have now figured that I will go past my due date and have to be induced or something. I am looking at the bright side - this means I can make an "appointment" to have the baby and be totally prepared. I can take a shower, do my nails, and put on some makeup. I will have the best "new mom" pictures on the block rather than the "I rolled out of bed at 3:30 AM when my water broke" pictures. See, there is a bright side to everything.

Sorry if I have been out of touch with everyone lately. The anticipation of having a baby is crazy. I go to work and come home and wait. I'm usually asleep before 9:00. I'm trying to save up my sleep. Not sure if that will work, but I'm takin' the Z's while I can get them.

Tom and I really want to see the new movie Music & Lyrics, but I just can't bring my watermelon ass to sit in a movie theater for 2 hours. Maybe when MG is born, we can get a quick night out and go see it. That's what grandmas are for. :)

Don't have much else to talk about. Happy Friday! I'll try to keep everyone posted.

Yep, Still Here

2007-02-08T13:14:00.000-05:00

Well, 38 weeks tomorrow. Two more to go until my due date. I have been hearing for weeks how "ready" I look. "Oh, she'll be here anytime." "You'll be lucky to make it through the week." That was 3 weeks ago. Still here. I have decided that I am going to stop listening to what everyone says, and my new mantra is, "she'll come when she's ready." Hey, if I was in a nice warm place and got fed all the time, I wouldn't come out either. It's damn cold out here. Everything is ready to go. The bags are packed. She'll come when she's ready.

In other news...Tom's grandma passed away on Sunday. She has been sick for so long, that it is almost a blessing. The funeral is tomorrow, and Tom and I are doing the readings at the church. I was touched that they thought of me to do it. Once all this is taken care of, I will be totally ready to have this baby. We just need to get through all this first.

I have been saying that the baby will come on Saturday because that is Taryn's birthday. Then both girls will have the same birthday. I would feel really bad if Taryn had to share her birthday, but what can I do? I suppose I could try to cross my legs all day Saturday, but something tells me it wouldn't make a difference. Oh, well. If it happens, it happens.

We ordered 10 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies from Taryn. I can't wait until she gets here on the 16th so I can have some. Ah, sitting at home with my new baby, eating Girl Scout Cookies - that sounds like the life for me. Yes please.

Why can't I concentrate on anything. I feel like my mind is wandering aimlessly everywhere than where it is supposed to be. Too much in there.

I missed Idol last night. Fell asleep at 8:30. That's not unusual. Hope I can stay awake tonight - at least until 9:30 when 30 Rock comes one. I hate that show.

If you didn't watch Idol last night, these will make no sense...

2007-01-18T11:06:00.000-05:00

"My name is Darwin, but people call me Mischa."

"Apparently Mischa has never heard of a bra."

"Or lip liner."

" I thought she was sunburned at first."

"Go ahead and make fun of me, but I have a little crush on Blake."

"Um, who doesn't? And his dad a little."

"Zitsman."

"Holy shit, Tam's right, that does look like my brother."

"Christie, is the baby ok? Alli, maybe she shouldn't be watching this in her condition."

"This commercial kills me, who the fuck spends 9 grand on a ring?"

"Two words....horse teeth."

"Ladies, I hope you paid attention. Your dog will leave you and raise a flag if you don't lay off the grass." (This one is my personal favorite).

"Was that not good enough? I hit the HIGH PARTS LIKE THIIIIS and the low parts like THIIIIIIS."

"You know what I say? Keep with it dude, it works."

"He totally has Darren's Dance Grooves."

"Twista train...woo woo!"

"I want to have big reds baby!"

"Don't sing it, just bring it!"

The Dust Has Settled

2007-01-08T16:35:00.000-05:00

Ah, another year has passed.

Updates:
The visit with Taryn was good, and we found out that she is moving back to Ohio. Yay! Our family will now be complete, and she will be able to spend as much time with her new baby sister as she wants. Tom is so excited. It's like someone made his biggest wish come true.

6 Weeks left until my due date. I'm hoping she'll come in 4. Start the wagers now.

I finally took my Christmas decorations down. I'm usually the girl who has it all done and put away on January 2nd. Not this year. It's done, though.

Holidays in general were really nice. Quiet and relaxing, and I can't say that too often, so it was a very nice year.

I got into a minor car accident the Friday before New Years. Some guy backed into me in the parking lot at work when I was leaving. No worries - baby and I are fine. Car is not fine. I have to take it Thursday to get fixed, and it could take a couple of weeks. I guess this is a good excuse to clean the car.

Otherwise, just working and preparing for baby. I'm ready to meet her, wear normal clothes, not waddle, and just generally feel "normal" again. Soon enough.

Ode To My Older Friend

2006-12-04T10:46:00.000-05:00

I want to wish Kristen a...

Happy Birthday!

Saturday was great! It was so nice to get out of the house and feel normal. It was a lovely evening. Even though we don't see each other as frequently as we used to, I still appreciate your friendship very much. It seems hard to believe we have known each other as long as we have. We have been through a lot, and we have managed to always pick up where we left off. You are truly an amazing person. You teach me to be a stronger person and be confident in who I am. I know you don't think that you are as strong as you are, but I appreciate the kind of person you are and look forward to many more years of friendship. Happy Birthday, Bloeser!

Catch-Up

2006-11-30T08:10:00.000-05:00

Well, still pregnant. I have 12 weeks left. I am starting to get bored with the whole thing. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. You have these rushes of excitement, and then nothing. I am getting tired of wearing the same 10 shirts and 2 pairs of pants. I'm tired of strangers touching me. I'm tired of people saying...."Oh, you must be almost ready to go." or "You are so big, are you sure you're not having twins?" I'm also tired of going to the bathroom 47 times a day. Anyway, enough complaining.....

Good things:

I'm looking forward to Kristen's birthday on Saturday!
Tom and I are going to Pittsburgh tomorrow for a quick getaway and shopping at Ikea.
By birthday is in 23 days.
I'm going to be getting a baby shower in a couple of weeks thrown by my two best friends
My family is coming to my house for Christmas, and that actually makes me very excited
I have some of my Christmas shopping done which is better than I have done in the past couple of years where I have waited until the week before.
The weather is amazing even though it will only last a little while longer.
Even though I'm tired of it, I'm excited to be having a baby. I can't wait to meet her.

So, that's my update. I need to keep up with this blog better. I think it is good therapy for me.

Good Thing I Like Pink

2006-09-20T14:29:00.000-04:00

We had our ultrasound today, and our baby is a GIRL! She is totally healthy, and I saw 10 fingers and 10 toes. We were very excited. Doctor said everything looks good and due date is on track for February 23rd, 2007.

Ah, the Sweet Smell of Tuesday

2006-09-12T12:45:00.000-04:00

Not much to report, but I figured I should say something. I'm feeling ok. I made it through the first trimester with flying colors, but this second is not so good. I'm super tired, having terrible sinus issues, and I feel a little queezy at times. Ah, well, I knew it couldn't last. We go for an ultrasound on th 20th, so hopefully we will know the sex of the baby after that visit. I'm pretty excited about it. I haven't seen the baby since my first visit, and it just looked like a snowman. So, this should be exciting. I will post after the appointment for sure. I know everyone is dying to know.

This weekend was nice. Had dinner with Andy on Friday, school on Saturday (yawn), and a visit from Alli (now, that makes any weekend fabulous). Otherwise, uneventful.

Yesterday, I was a bit under the weather (see above sinus issue), and I slept most of the day away. Well, about 4:00, I needed a ginger ale, so I headed to the gas station on the corner. While on my way, there were about 5-6 helicopters hovering over my neighborhood. Because I lead a relatively boring existence, the excitement of something happening in my neighborhood was intriguing. So, I got on the highway thinking I would run into a car crash or something. When I got to Edgewater park, and didn't see anything, I decided to take a ride through the park and head home. Little did I know that the excitement was at the park! There were news crews everywhere, along with fire trucks and police. I got out of the car to check it out. Good thing it wasn't a crazy guy shooting up the beach, because I walked right into it. I decide to make friends with the most normal looking guy who fills me in about the boys that decided to take a swim with 8 foot waves. Brilliant. They had already pulled one of them out and he was rushed to the hospital. They were still searching for the other. I was right in the midddle of the action and some of the news cameras were right on me. "Great," I think to myself,"I don't go to work today, and the five minutes I spend outside will now be on the evening news." I watched the divers and Coast Guard boat for about a half hour and decided I would rather not see the other body dragged out of the lake and headed home to watch the drama on the news. I actually saw all the kids they interviewed on the news and it was very sad. However, come on, why are you swimming in the lake with 8 foot waves? Anyway, I wasn't on the news, so no autographs for you! For more info.....read here

That was my exciting sick day. I look out the window today, and it sure is a nice day to spend in bed. Too bad I did that yesterday.

Thursday Bores

2006-08-17T14:28:00.000-04:00

I have a case of the Thursday bores. By this time in the week, I have no desire to do anything. I end up reading news on the internet, commenting on blogs, and actually posting on my own. I have been in such a foul mood the last couple of days. I have actually been proud of myself for opening my mouth and telling people how I feel when I feel it. Maybe all of my assertive friends are rubbing off on me.

Looking forward to Audient's birthday bash. I wish I didn't have so much homework to do on Sunday so I could hang out with Alli and Kristen, although Kristen may want Alli all to herself. Perhaps I will get up early on Sunday and try to get much of the work done, and then go out and play. Let's just hope I'm as disciplined as I appear to be here.

I find that when I become addicted to a show that when the week's episode is done, I'm always a bit depressed that I can't watch the new one right away. It seems like a whole week is just too long to wait.

Well, I guess that's all for now.

Instead of Trying to Lose Weight, I Will Now Be Super Fat

2006-08-11T16:02:00.000-04:00

Well, I feel like I can now announce to everyone....

I'm pregnant! Tom and I found out just after Father's Day, and I couldn't keep the secret from most people. Now that I am 12 weeks today, I feel like I can shout it to the world. I am due February 23, and it can't come soon enough. It is a lot to take in and prepare for, but I don't have much patience for such things. I get too excited. I got my first ultrasound in July just to make sure everything was ok, and it looks like we are having a snowman. :) Alli has been lovingly referring to the baby as Taco, as "the baby" is just worn out. I had my second doctor's appointment on August 3rd and all is well. Doc told me to keep up the good work. Taco's heart rate was 150 and they tell me that's normal. Everything else was good. Only 8 more weeks and we can find out what we're having!

In other news, we are moving. We found a brand new apartment that is still a 2 bedroom, but it is much bigger and offers more ammenities in the suite. We will have a washer and dryer in the unit and a dishwasher. Two necessities with a new baby. The best part about moving this time, is that I can't move a thing. I suppose I could lift a few light boxes, but you can't be too safe.....right? We actually decided to get movers because we're just sick and tired of moving! After I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out and wanted to move back to Ashtabula. Luckily, Tom and I were able to compromise on half-way. We will be on the Mentor/Painesville line. We are really excited to be in a brand new place (our building won't be finished until the week before we move in).

So, that's my news....I know, it's a lot to take in. I will try to keep up with this blog and how we are doing.

With Love,
Mom of Taco

Ah, I'm back

2006-06-04T17:12:00.000-04:00

Had to take a breather from blogging. I just haven't had the time...

Updates:
Taryn is here for the summer. She should be here until the end of July. What a change in our lives! I now have to worry about "kid stuff" and doing things besides just working and going to school.

I am in school this summer taking two classes.

Work has been super busy. I don't have to time to do anything at work...except work. What a concept.

Otherwise, everything is normal. Tom and I will be celebrating one year of wedded bliss on June 25th. It doesn't seem like a year has past. For as busy as I am now, at least I can be happy that I'm not planning a wedding on top of it all like last year. I haven't had much "social" time lately. I miss my friends.

In Memory

2006-03-23T16:00:00.000-05:00

One year ago today I was sitting in a hospital room with my grandma. She had been admitted in the hospital and the prognosis was not good. My aunt had come from Colorado, and we were all taking our turn at the hospital. My mom and aunt had gone home to rest for a minute and have something to eat. I arrived and my grandma looked horrible. She had not woken up since the night before. When she was awake, she wasn't really with it. It was so hard to watch a woman who worked until she was 75 be so helpless. So, I sat with her. I held her hand. I told her it was ok - if she was hurting that we we would be ok. Tears quietly ran down my face as I whispered to her. Then, I couldn't hear her breathing. She was having such a hard time when I came in that it was a significant difference. I was so scared. She wasn't breathing and I was alone. I ran into the hallway and got a nurse. I wasn't necessarily scared that she was dying. I was scared that no one was here, and I knew my mom and aunt would want to be there to say goodbye. The nurse came back in with me and checked the vitals. They weren't good. She told me to sit with my grandma and hold her hand and comfort her as she was about to slip away. I tried to call my mom, but her phone was busy. All I could think to myself is - Who doesn't have call waiting. Seriously. I called my sister and reached her. What I said is a bit of a blur. She was in Fairport eating dinner and was rushing to be with me. I remember telling her that grandma was gone. No one in my family had ever died before. At least not anyone close to me. I sat with her as tears continued to flow. I told her it would be ok and I was here with her. I remember her taking one more breath, and then she was quiet. I knew the worst was to come. Everyone would be coming here and it would be awful. I shared a beautiful moment of peace with my grandma that no one will ever understand. I called my mom's one last time. It rang. I handed the phone to the nurse because I just couldn't tell my mom that her mom was dead. The nurse told my mom to get there right away. She then said that she was going to clean up the room before everyone arrived. I stepped out to get some air. In the middle of all this I called Tom and knew he was on his way. As I stepped out of the elevator, my brother, his wife, and daughter were walking in just to visit grandma. When they saw me they knew. My sister-in-law grabbed me. As we hugged, Tom walked in. I ran to him and he held me tighter than he ever had before. He took me outside for some air. As we were standing outside, my mom and aunt pulled up. As my brother had known by looking at me, so did my mom and aunt. They screamed and cried no. My mom fell to the ground. I had never seen grief like that in my life. I was so hurt for them. My aunt grabbed my hand and forced me up to her room because I don't think she really believed it. My mom couldn't bring herself to go in the room. I had to hold her up. I was so sad for my mom. My aunt kept grabbing me and yelling, "The baby, The baby. She had to go through this all on her own." I assured her I was ok and that grandma went peacefully. Which she did.

The whole experience showed me how strong I really am. I held my aunt together, which is not an easy task. My motto and mantra for the family was "power through". I knew there were certain things that we needed to do and none were going to be easy. Today, we are all ok. Still sad, but ok. I miss my grandma. I wish I could call her one more time. Sit with her for one more hour. Have her send me home with a box of crafts just once more. Don't we all when we lose someone? I have verbalized this story very little. Like I said, I've never had lost someone close to me, let alone had to watch it happen. The pastor at my grandma's church hugged me the day of the funeral and told me that I was chosen. Chosen by my grandma and the angels to escort her to heaven. I like to think so.

I love you grandma.

To My Husband

2006-03-15T08:52:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, Tom will turn 29. We will be busy on our birthday adventure tomorrow, so I wanted to take some time to write a tribute to the man who has changed my life.

I have had my share of bad relationships (but hasn't everyone). I wanted to find that one person that would make my world complete, and I didn't think I was ever going to find it. Then, I met Tom. I was actually dating a friend of his. One night, said friend was stopping by and asked if I minded that Tommy St. Angelo stop by too. I said no, and since I was living with my sister at the time, thought maybe they could hang out. Well, they showed up, and Tom and my sister sat awkwardly on a love seat. It wasn't looking like a love connection. Looking back, it really was hilarious. They both looked so uncomfortable. They still joke about it today. Then, 4th of July came and I was at a party with said friend. Lo and behold, so was Tom. We spent the entire evening debating and having great conversation. Both of us had a bit too much to drink and the friend had to drive us home. Tom sat in the back of my little red Cavalier, and I was in the passenger seat. When I've had a bit to drink, I think that I can have my own personal concert with the radio. So, I started belting out the song, and Tom said, "Is that an angel up there singin'?" (Insert slight southern accent having just moved from N. Carolina). I smiled on the inside for the first time in a long time.

A few days later, I decided that I wanted to go out with Tom. I got up enough courage (translation: drank 5 beers) and went to his house. I knocked on the door and asked him if he had plans later and if he wanted to grab a few beers. He accepted....the rest is history.

Well, it wasn't always easy. Everyone has their troubles when they are first dating - you have to work out all the wrinkles. In June we were married. It was the happiest day of my life. I didn't know it was possible to have someone love me so much, and for me to love them equally in return. We are a team. He saved me. I was struggling with depression and drinking. I hated myself and my life. He changed all that.

To most people, Tom is quiet, shy, and laid back. To me, he is hilarious, intelligent, and well spoken. I don't think people knew what to make of us when we were first dating. How could this work? We are so different. But we're not. He makes me laugh. I find myself giggling like a little kid in bed when we are just talking. I am able to be myself - completely. He doesn't judge me, but rather gives his honest opinion. I know he will always tell me the truth. He helps me be a better person - a stronger person. I don't let people walk on me anymore - well, at least not as much as I used to. I believe in who I am and what I have to offer people. All because of him.

I am so proud of my husband. He is thoughtful and careful. He plans. He works hard. He researches. He has a goofy side (that I think I see more than anyone). I sometimes say he is like having a good girlfriend for a roommate. He indulges my whims and gives me advice. He is an amazing father to his daughter, and it lets me geta glimpse into what he will be like with our kids. Taryn loves her dad, and he loves her so much. I don't know how he deals with her being so far away, but he manages to be a great dad even when she is hundreds of miles away - when my dad couldn't do it living in the same town. Taryn is a lucky girl to have Tom for her daddy.

I love him more everyday, and even though he hates his birthday, I celebrate it. It gives me the chance to celebrate him and the person that he is.

I love you, Tom. Happy Birthday!

Thank you Tam

2006-03-10T13:14:00.000-05:00

St. Angelo-Lickin' Good.

Yep, that was my slogan at the Sloganizer. Of course it was.

And this one....

It's That Christie Feeling.

I could play with this all afternoon...but alas, I must work.

Ode to a Hairlip and Mandy Moore

2006-03-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

I can't believe frickin Kevin is still on American Idol. Actually, I can. Somewhere along the line, people started to feel sorry for ol' Kev, and voted. Blech. I can't explain to anyone how much I can't stand that kid. If he were a cute character on a sit com, ok, I'd buy it. However, I can't stand the way he sings, and I can't even stand to look at him when he performs. I don't know why I have such a distain, but I do. I hope he gets kicked off this next week. I won't be able to take it. I was shocked that Gidion (or however you spell it) went home. While he was creepy, he is CERTAINLY BETTER THAN KEVIN. Ugh.

On the Mandy Moore/Will Makar front...you be the judge.

In other news...

1. My back is fine. I got some preliminary results from the doc and everything was normal. So, my personal explanation is that I'm too fat to support my own body. Apparently, people who carry their weight in their stomach area are at risk for back trouble. So, Tam you weren't that far off with your idea that it's my big rack. It may very well be part of the issue. So, I am working on those issues. No more fatty mcfat for me!

2. I am going back to Hiram in April or the Summer. I didn't really have it in me to transfer again, so I'm sticking it out. I said I wasn't going to tell anyone and do this just for me, but we all know I'm incapable of that.

3. We have an exciting weekend planned with good friends and family. I look forward to a good time, lots of pics, and lots of stories. That requires me, however, to clean my apartment. One big project will be removing cat hair from the futon so people can sleep on it. I swear I can make another cat from the hair I clean EVERY weekend.

4. Work is great! I love my job. I haven't said that in awhile, but I really do.

I think that is all for now. I'm sure I will have more to post about later, and since it is Friday, I may have the time to do it later.

Have a great weekend (in case I don't post).

Thoughts on a Friday

2006-03-03T09:07:00.000-05:00

On Monday, I met Toni Morrison. It was cool. It was only for like 5 seconds, but I got to shake her hand and say how nice it was to meet her. I have been helping an old boss of mine with a project she is working on and so is Ms. Morrison. It was very cool. The only other famous people I have met (besides artists) were the members of White Zombie (minus Rob Zombie), and I have to say I actually enjoyed Toni Morrison more even if it was for only a second. I don't care too much about White Zombie.

I have started eating healthier. I promised myself for one month that I will not eat cheese, oil or butter. By the way, a lot of things have that stuff in it. I am doing well. Granted, it has only been 3 days, but I notice a huge difference already in the way I feel. I am more focused at work, and I actually feel like doing things when I get home. Tom and I joined the YMCA and were really good about going, but he is worried about me doing too much with my back issues (see below). However, I think I can use the elliptical or swim. Either of those shouldn't hurt me. So, I think I will go tomorrow morning to Aqua Aerobics. I'm sure I will be the youngest person there by about 40 years, but I'm gonna groove with the grannies.

My back....I have had issues with my back for some time. Only now has it gotten to the point where it hurts every day. It used to be just when I was on my feet for a long time, or rearranged my furniture, or cleaned the house. Now, it hurts with everything I do. Not just a little hurt. Like, take my breath away hurt. So, I have been seeing doctors for the past 2-3 months still trying to figure out what it is. I had an MRI on Tuesday. Boy, was that weird. It wasn't too bad, though. I am not claustrophobic, so it didn't bother me. Hopefully, I will find something out and not have to have surgery. This is also another reason why I am trying to be healthier. I know part of the problem with my back is my weight. If I can solve part of the issue myself and take away this pain....I will.
So, the girl gave me my pics from the MRI, "for my records". They do me no good. I looked at them as soon as I got home, and I had no idea what I was looking at. I don't know what I thought I would see. Surprise! I'm not a doctor. Oh, well. I am waiting patiently for a follow up with the doc.

On a lighter note, I too am looking forward to the Oscars. I haven't seen hardly any of the movies, but I would like to try to see a few this weekend. Below are my picks in Kristen's pool.

Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
Best Director: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain
Best Actor: Joaquin Phoenix for Walk the Line
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line
Best Supporting Actor: Jake Gyllenhaal for Brokeback Mountain
Best Supporting Actress: Michelle Williams for Brokeback Mountain
Best Original Screenplay: Syriana - Stephen Gaghan
Best Adapted Screenplay: Capote - Dan Futterman
Cinematography: Memoirs of a Geisha
Costume Design: Memoirs of a Geisha
Original Score: Memoirs of a Geisha
Original Song: "Travelin' Thru" - Transamerica - Dolly Parton
Best Animated Feature Film: Corpse Bride
Best Foreign Language Film: Paradise Now (Palestine)
Best Documentary Feature: Murderball

I am Alive

2006-02-11T11:05:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm alive. I just haven't had much to say. Not that today is any different. Tom and I traveled to Loudenville, Ohio on Wednesday to stay at Landoll's Mohican Castle. What a fabulous getaway. With our schedules, we never (and I mean NEVER) get to spend a full 24 hours together. We stayed in the Thering Suite. Beautiful. Tom kicked my butt in a rousing game of Sorry, and we spent time just relaxing.

Then we came home. I got the call from Kristen about Ray. I was stunned and upset. We aren't supposed to be visiting friends in the hospital for serious issues. But maybe we're not as young and spry as we used to be. It does make you think - that's for sure. I think some life changes are on the way in the St. Angelo house. I have too many things I want to do in my life to worry about being healthy enough to do it.

I wish and hope nothing but the best for Ray! I will do all I can to help Kristen out, because I couldn't even imagine what she is thinking. What a roller coaster. Everything will be ok. It will all be fine "with a little help from my friends" (as Chad pointed out is so appropriate).

Thanks Kristen

2006-01-10T13:09:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so I have my massotherapy appointment in about 5 minutes. I have spent all morning pondering words that Kristen said to me on Saturday. Upon learning that I was doing massotherapy she said, "Aren't you afraid you'll fart." I wasn't...until today. Thanks.

Thanks for the lecture lady!

2006-01-09T13:23:00.000-05:00

So the best part of my weekend was seeing Harry Potter with Kristen. She wanted to see it one more time before it left the theater and I was the only person she had not seen it with. We both giggled at the same parts and got excited at the same parts etc. It was magical. Everything about the day was magical until Kristen thought it would be a good idea to pick a fight in the theater after the movie had ended. To her defense, there was a mother and two very small children sitting behind us. Well, one the girls stood leaning against Kristen's chair the ENTIRE movie chewing gum in her ear. The other child coughed the ENTIRE movie. I don't mean like a little kid cough, but full blown smoker's cough! It was rather frightening. So, I knew it was only a matter of time before Kristen blew her stack and yelled at this woman. We've all read her posts and how she feels about social graces. So, the movie ends, and I immediately try to engage her in a conversation, hoping to make it out of the theater. So I say, "it was so good. I'm glad I saw the movie." Kristen says, "Yeah, I like it to. I would have like it better (louder and louder), IF SOME PEOPLE COULD LEARN TO CONTROL THEIR CHILDREN." I continue to try and engage her in conversation, but then the woman in front of us pipes up and decides to tell Kristen, "Well, it IS a children's movie." But then agreed that children should be removed from the theater. Then asks Kristen if she has any children. Kristen replies, "No, and thanks for the lecture lady." Now, I am about as non-confrontational as they come, so I was probably more worried about things than I needed to be. However, Kristen had to use the potty before we left, and I waited outside (secretly hoping the girl didn't jump out and beat my ass). So, I decide to peek around the corner to see if Kristen was on her way out. I end of looking directly into the eyes of "the girl". I am now worried that there will be an altercation in the bathroom. Thankfully, no altercations.

The rest of the night was filled with Texas Tea and steak. MMMM. MMMM. Good.

Full of Shit....literally.

2005-12-20T11:03:00.000-05:00

Well, I never have anything cool or funny to write about...until today. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday for a myriad of things including some lower back pain. The doctor thought I may have some damage for the gymnastics I did as a kid. So, she ordered an x-ray. Harmless enough, right? Well, not really.

When she came back from reading the x-ray, she had a shit-eatin' (pun intended) grin on her face. She said, "Well, the good news is, you don't have arthritis. But...you are full of poop. You are blocked all the way abover your rib cage. I could see it in the x-ray." She acted appalled that someone could have so much and not realize it, or be in any pain. So, I think to myself, "You know, this could only happen to me. I go and try and take care of something that has been bothering me and I end up having to take a colon cleanse. Only me." So, on my way home I stopped and CVS and bought the 10oz. bottle of Magnesium Citrade, some wrapping paper, and my other prescriptions and headed home to settle in for an anticipated LONG night. I had prepared myself and rented a couple of movies and thought it would be the perfect time to get my Christmas wrapping completed. I got home, took a deep breath and downed the bottle. I drank my water as instructed and then......I waited. And waited. And waited. Now and then a rumble would happen and I would leap off the floor and run to the bathroom. Nothing. I waited and waited some more. It was around 9PM that the fun started. I thought that picking up Tom from work at 12:30 AM would be safer than trying to go around at 8, 9, or 10. I figured by 12:30, I would be done. I was mistaken. Now, don't get your hopes up and think I shit myself on the way to pick up Tom. I did not. I am a champ and held it all the way there....and all the way home. Granted, it is only a six minute drive (one way), but people let me tell you, it was one of the longest twelve minutes of my life! I survived the night with no accidents or mishaps and woke up this morning feeling 10 lbs. lighter. I think I may even be 10 lbs. lighter. So, thank you health services. I still have lower back pain, but no one can accuse me of being full of shit!

Well, If the Quiz Says So...

2005-12-14T10:47:00.000-05:00

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.
You would make an excellent:
Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic DesignerIllustrator - Musician - Sculptor
The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's" Your Ideal Career?

8 Days Until My Birthday!

2005-12-14T10:41:00.000-05:00

Your Birth Month is December

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe.Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity.
Your soul reflects: Celebration, success, and wealth
Your gemstone: Blue Topaz
Your flower: Narcissus
Your colors: Indigo, green, and blue-green

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

I'm full

2005-12-11T00:28:00.000-05:00

My brain is full. I feel like I need to unload a bit of information-for sanity. I just spent the last hour or so looking at stuff on ebay. I got sucked in, and I couldn't stop. I did bid on a hutch for my dining room and it looks like I may get it for $5.50. Yes, folks, just over 5 bucks. All I have to do is drive down past Akron to pick it up. I'm not sure if it will suit us. It looked a little rough, but I can probably do something with it-because that's what I do. Which I guess leads me to my next topic. I have been thinking for a long time about what I want "to be when I grow up". I use that term loosely considering I'm almost 30. I just can't seem to find my place. I like so many things. I was talking to a lady I work with at our group holiday gathering last night. She and I are kindred spirits. We were discussing our passion for interior design and how both of us have a dream of doing it for our jobs-even owning our own business. We gave a clink of the wine glasses to someday going into business together. However, I need to go to school for it. I looked at Virginia Marti College of Art and Design. While I think it would fit me, and I would really be able to enjoy the stuff they can offer, I have a fear that no one will take me seriously. I feel as though everyone looks at me like I'm not living up to my potential if I don't become some business mogul or something. Hey, news flash, I don't really want that. I know I have a brain in my head, and that's enough for me. I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone, but at the same time, I feel like I would have to make excuses for why I chose to go to Virginia Marti College and not finish a Bachelor's degree at CSU or Akron or Kent. Maybe that is in the cards for me someday, but for now, I actually think it would be so fun to actually get to do what I love and learn how to do it properly. I researched some local design firms, and there are a few. One, in particular, looked interesting and the founder of the company is a graduate of Virginia Marti. So, I think I may just do it. I also thought about working on a real estate license and combining the two. Hey, I'll sell you a house and then decorate it for you. :)

In other news, Tom is going to day shift in a couple of weeks. Thank goodness. I don't do well not seeing him. I miss him terribly. I want to share in things with him like we used to. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but I just don't feel complete unless he is with me. So, his shift change is fabulous news. He should be walking in the door any minute, and I can't wait.

I spent tonight cleaning and plan on working on arranging the office/spare room for Miss Taryn's visit that is approaching quickly. Also something to look forward to.

Well, now no one can bitch that I haven't posted. I hear the elevator. I'm out.

New Rules

2005-11-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

I received these in an email and they express many sentiments that I feel, so here you go...

New Rule #1: Stop giving me that popup ad for Classmates.com! There's a
reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't
particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the
football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule #2: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window
unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human
finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a
dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule #3: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot,
blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description
for these kids: lucky.

New Rule #4: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men
care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule #5: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole
aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery
taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want
flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your
flavored water.

New Rule #6: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a
redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top
is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it,
his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved
the Social Security crisis.

New Rule #7: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the
a$$hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande
halfsoy, halflow fat, iced vanilla, doubleshot, gingerbread cappuccino,
extra dry, light ice, with one Sweetn'Low and one NutraSweet," ooh,
you're a huge a$$hole.

New Rule #8: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding
my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount,
deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter"
again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there
eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule #9: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it
doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of you're a$$
and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did
anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're
not spiritual; you're just high.

New Rule #10: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven
deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating,
because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too
exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already
doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule #11: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for
M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule #12: If you're going to insist on making movies based on
crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the
Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens.
Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first
place; It's because the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule #13: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just
for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from
rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for
you isn't gift giving, it's a version of looting.

New Rule #14: and this one is fifty years overdue: No more bathroom
attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint
like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's
supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to
be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule #15: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know
in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a
cheese. And I didn't care in the first place.

Waiting for the Blizzard

2005-11-23T22:53:00.000-05:00

Well, it is almost 11 pm and the snow has not started yet. It will. We decided that since the weather is not looking so promising for the next few days, we are staying home for Thanksgiving. At first I was disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing my family, but now, I'm excited. I went the grocery store tonight and bought a feast for two. On the menu - ham, potatoes, corn, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and apple cobbler. I know, I know - no turkey. That's right, there's not. Unfortunately, because we decided to stay home today, I couldn't get a turkey in time to thaw it for cooking. So, ham it is.

I look forward to being "snowed in" and spending our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife together.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Times They Are A Changin

2005-11-21T11:06:00.000-05:00

I am happy to report that my dear husband started his new job last night! Congratulations to him! I think he was kind of happy to re-enter the work force. Although it was tough when he walked out the door, and I was left in the silent house. The first night was weird, but I think I will like having some time to myself. I took a walk to the grocery store, picked up dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and baked cupcakes. I then relaxed and read a book - for pleasure. Something I have not been able to do for quite awhile, but now that school is done for the semester, I have the time.

I am also going to work out after work on the evenings that Tom is working (that sentence had a lot of "works" in it).

I think this may actually be good for me. I will miss him, though.

Ok, You Can Laugh Now!

2005-11-18T09:29:00.000-05:00

I know I'm clutzy. I have been my whole life. If some strange accident is going to happen to someone...it will be me. Case in point - last night's trip to Wal-Mart.

Tom and I decided to buy one of those huge four wick candles ( they were only $5!). So, I am picking them all up to smell them. Well, part of the problem is that I am sick and can't smell a thing. So, I had the candle right up to my nose. For some reason, my hand slipped off the candle and it hit me right in the mouth. So, now, I'm crying, bleeding, and laughing in the middle of the candle isle. Tom is just staring at me to see what my reaction is going to be.

I must say thank you to my wonderful husband for asking me if I was ok and not laughing at me until I started laughing. I can't say that I could've been as nice. I have compassion, but I'm sure I looked rather ridiculous!

I've hit a low on the self-esteem scale

2005-11-14T08:32:00.000-05:00

I know we all go through phases when we love ourselves and then have the times when we just can't stand to look in the mirror. I am in the hate phase. Lately, I have been down in the dumps about my weight, my hair, my skin, my clothes....you name it. I'm not posting this to fish for compliments. I have had this on my mind for the last week or so, and I just need to get it off my chest. Tom and I went to pick up some fall/winter clothes at the Kohl's sale and I didn't like anything I tried on, and this is the incident that started my downward spiral.

The thing that makes me the most angry is that I am the only one who can do anything about the way I look and feel. I know that I should eat better and exercise. I just have no discipline to actually do it. I sit here and write this and feel so stupid because I have the answer...I just don't do it. I want to. I just don't. Then, I get into the cycle of just feeling bad about myself. The worst part is, I'm a bit scared. I have been having some trouble feeling my toes. I know that it is weight related. My frame is too small to be carrying the weight that I do. I am afraid that I will have some serious health issues if I don't do something about this. I want to have children some day, and I could have some serious issues if I don't get myself healthy. I just have to put my mind to it and take care of myself. I think I'm so overwhelmed that I don't know where to begin.

That's Why They Make Menus?

2005-11-04T17:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, I don't think I'm going to post about my mundane life anymore - because it is just that: mundane. And boring.

So, I am going to comment on The Apprentice last night. Donald Trump is a wack job. His antics in the Board Room last night were hilarious. He comments that he is amazed that Clay is gay and he is the last to know. He then proceeds to ask Clay just to make sure he is gay if he is attracted to Alla or the other girl on the team. Clay, of course, says no. Then The Donald says, "Well, that's why they make menus in restaraunts. Some people like steak and some people like spaghetti." Ok, that was the first set of antics that made me almost fall off the chair laughing. Second, The Donald point blank asks Adam if he is a virgin. Talk about an awkward moment. Adam, of course did not feel comfortable answering - obviously because he is, and that's ok. Donald then proceeds to tell him that sex is good and in 10 years he will be way more comfortable with it. The best part, however, is when Donald Trump goes onto explain how sex has gotten him into a lot of trouble and cost him a lot of money. It was absolutely hysterical! It almost made you forget he was an uptight millionaire businessman.

By the way, Clay did not say that Adam was a "tight ass Jew" He said he was a tight Jew, which, for the record, I think he meant "uptight". What astonished me was that Adam was offended when he had exploited the fact that he was a sweet innocent Jew from the beginning of the talk. And, did anyone else catch Clay's comment when they got in the elevator, "Don't even speak to me." Then, he pushed the door to the loft open in a very angry manner. Come on, Clay - did you really think that the team wasn't going to turn on you?

Finally, does Markus remind anyone else of Mr. Buckey? I'm kind of sad he is gone. Just as I would be sad to not hear stories from Mr. Buckey about alien cats and the people that live on the other side of the moon. My favorite part of the show was when Markus was playing with toys in front of the class while they were teaching. Way to go, Markus.

I don't have anything too fun to say about the Martha Apprentice except that I would give an ovary to share a muffin with her at her home in Bedford!

Um, yeah, that's my print job

2005-11-01T14:47:00.000-05:00

So, my computer at work still is not set up for me to automatically print to my printer. I have to manually change the printer every time I print. Well, today I was working on a project that required me to print every fax cover sheet ever made up here (trust me it's a lot). I highlighted every document, right clicked, and hit print. The good news is...it's all done. The bad news is...I printed the entire stack of documents to my old department. They were trying to have a meeting and the printer is right in the office.

Karma, baby, karma!

Please just stop talking

2005-11-01T08:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know that I talk a lot - so for those of you who get irritated with me, you can call me a hypocrite. I work with really really really great people. However, there is one woman who continuously talks and talks and talks. About everything. Then, when you try to get a word in to actually make it a "conversation"....forget it.

I hate to complain because I really like it here, but I just want to walk away right in the middle of conversations (a term I use loosely).

Now that I have all this free time...

2005-10-31T10:36:00.000-05:00

Ah, another MUN conference over. This marks the end of my Board of Trustee term, and I must admit that I am so relieved. I have dedicated 10 years to volunteering for this organization (3 of which have been on the Board). I think that is enough. I used to think that Mr. Bebout was crazy for his "10 and out" slogan. Today, I agree. It is time to go. I began to think of what I could do for the organization. I realized that I don't want to chair a committee. I did that this weekend and it is difficult to go back to that after being behind the scenes running the show. Plus, I don't want to be put out to pasture as some other past Board members have. And...I don't want to throw bombs at the board for what I think they do wrong. Especially with the new additions that will be joining the board. So, I have decided to take some time off. I am going to use my free time to be with my husband and concentrate on school.

I may also look at volunteering my time elsewhere. Maybe even start my own non-profit.

Anyway, the conference was good. Things went off without a hitch as they always do. My job is done here. It was worth the trinkets....I think.

Finally

2005-10-19T10:46:00.000-04:00

Tom has finally joined the blogging world.....
http://shoveyerblogupyerass.blogspot.com/

I have been telling him forever to do it. He sends me emails all the time with the most hilarious stories. I sometimes share them, but now, he will.

Enjoy!

Beginnings (and endings)

2005-09-29T14:28:00.000-04:00

Ok, well things are starting to calm down a bit. I felt like the last couple of weeks were just a whirlwind. Tomorrow is my last day in my department. What a strange feeling. I thought I had found my dream job, but it is not. I am very excited to begin the new chapter in my life in my new job. However, it is always bittersweet to leave something behind. While I look forward to the opportunities my new position gives me, my current job is fun and for the most part, my co-workers are like an extended family. Yes, they get on my nerves, but whose family doesn't?
The flip side is...I can still remain involved in the arts in Cleveland, especially now that I live closer. I just need to find some spare time.

This weekend is going to be great. I will get to catch up with some old friends on Saturday which I am very much looking forward to. Tom is taking the LSAT, so I get some "me time" on Saturday morning. I plan on watching White Oleander and then maybe doing some studying.

"The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings."— Ralph Waldo Emerson (1802-1882) Journals

Much to Report

2005-09-14T14:20:00.000-04:00

Well, it has taken me awhile to get this updated because so much is going on.

1. Tom and I get the keys to our new apartment tonight. We will be back in Cleveland! We will no longer have to drive all over creation to get anywhere, whether it be school, work, friends etc. I don't know how we will handle all the free time. So, for you Clevelanders out there...we will be moving this weekend if anyone feels like carrying boxes and furniture up four flights of stairs. Come on, it will be awesome! Just kidding. I know everyone has had their turn helping us move, and some have even said that they refuse to help again. Totally understandable given the amount of times we have moved!

2. I am going to be changing jobs. I got a position in another department and will be moving over there in a couple of weeks. I had an interview at another place last week. When I left the interview, I had a gut feeling that it would be a bad move if I went there. I can't put my finger on exactly what the problem was, but it was something. The group I am going to here, though, is fabulous and I am extremely excited about joining their team!

3. LEIMUN is slowing down. I should be super busy, but with everything else going on, I had to take a step back. Everyone seems to be picking up and stepping up! That makes me breathe a little easier.

4. School. 12-1/2 hours every other Saturday.....enough said!

Anyway...that's what is happening in my world. So, I have had little time to do anything, including updating my blog.

Since I get it, I will comment

2005-08-17T08:21:00.000-04:00

This is in response to a cryptic post from audient today....http://audientfiles.blogspot.com/2005/08/validation.html

It is sad when you find that someone you thought you knew isn't what you thought at all. I have found that to be the case often in the last few months. I sort of feel angry at myself for being so naive and trusting. I guess I just think that all people are good until they prove otherwise. Which is where my "rose colored glasses" come in. I look at people as acting with the best of intentions, and sometimes they make mistakes. That's human nature. However, I am finding that some people really don't have the best intentions. They use people. They strive to be the center of attention all the time. They become too much to handle. I just don't have the time in my life for drama. I enjoy having a drama free life. I love having friends that are easy people to be friends with. I have come to realize that the people that I have surrounded myself with in the past few years are just not the people I thought they were. To top it off, the people that I have cast aside, I am realizing, are truly wonderful people.

I guess this is just another life lesson. It is a big one for me. I am really starting to realize the value of good people. So, thank you to all the good people in my life!!!

Whew, What a Whirlwind

2005-08-16T10:16:00.000-04:00

So, this past weekend was jam packed. However I did nothing that I actually WANTED to do. This past weekend was a weekend of "have to's." I accept those every once in awhile. This weekend I hope to make a weekend of "want to's."

The good new is....we found a new apartment. We were planning on moving around the first of the year, but found a great place and great deal. If all goes well and falls into place, we may be moving around September 15th. I can't wait to be back in in apartment where there is so little upkeep in comparison to a house. I thought it would be cool to have a yard, a garden, our own space. Yeah, no. It sucks. I found that I don't really like gardening, weeking, or cutting the grass. I will live in a place where someone does that for me, please. While Tom does most of it, I know he doesn't like it either. We spend all our time either at work or working on the house. It is really beginning to cut into my laziness.

Yesterday was also crazy. I won't even go into it. The good news of the day however is that I got a call about a job I applied for. I don't want to jinx it by talking too much about it, but I'm really excited. I will post more when I know more.

Otherwise, nothing really going on. That's why I haven't posted much. Just normal life. If there is drama, I just don't feel like reliving it here. It's really not that important to me.

Tom may be Clark Griswold and I may be Ellen

2005-08-09T09:28:00.000-04:00

Tom and I were driving to work/school today and decided that we want to see a part of every state in the union. We are always up for an adventure and enjoy the sights that are off the beaten path. We decided that the major landmarks are easy...The Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore, The World's Largest Ball of Yarn (you get the idea). However, we became a little stumped in states like Idaho, Kansas, etc. I guess we'll just figure it out as we go along. That's part of the fun.

Anyway...the first trip is...drumroll.....Louisville, Kentucky! Believe it or not, there is much to see and do there. I will keep everyone updated as the tip plans progress. So far, I have found a riverboat cruise and other historical type stuff. I am continuing to do research. If anyone knows anything about Louisville (or Kentucky in general), please let me know.

This is sure to be the first of our many adventures. I need a map and a notebook to keep a journal of everywhere we go.

Weekend Recap

2005-08-08T08:41:00.000-04:00

Nothing really exciting to report. Friday night we went to CJ's Oar House (for those who know Ashtabula - it used to be Hopper's). It is not ghetto at all like it used to be and you can enjoy drinks on the patio. It was my brother's birthday. We happened to see a guy there who used to be a teacher/principal when we were all in school (BTW - my brother and sister are 10 years older than me). This particular teacher was old when we were all in school, so you can imagine how old he is now. Anyway, he was sitting there chatting with a sweet young girl in pigtails who liked like she was on the verge of passing out. Well, they proceed to spend the evening together complete with groping on the dance floor. The girl couldn't have been more than 21 (if that). So, she was dubbed Anna Nichole for the night. She soon disappeared - the drugs must've worn off.

Anyway, that was Friday. Saturday, we had our garage sale - again. Then, spent the afternoon in the pool. I love having a pool.

Sunday was spent getting caught up on house stuff and grocery shopping.

All in all, good weekend. Next weekend will be super busy. I don't know how I will be able to do it all.

If anyone will be out towards Ashtabula next weekend - come to Bucaneer for the camp-out!

OK, I'll play

2005-08-05T08:44:00.000-04:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30

2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearl Necklaces (he he)

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Team America (Fuck Yeah!)

4. What's your favorite TV show? The Bachelor/Bachelorette, In a Fix, Clean Sweep, Family Guy, The Chapelle Show

5. What did you have for breakfast? Nothing. I don't usually eat breakfast

6. What's your favorite cuisine? Italian or Mexican

7. What foods do you dislike? Seafood, mushrooms, peas

8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Doritos

9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? The mix CDs I made for the wedding

10. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Matrix

11. Favorite sandwich? Grilled Cheese with munster cheese

12. What characteristics do you despise? High maintenance and dramatic people. Relax and enjoy life!

13. Favorite item of clothing? The pink skirt I'm wearing today.

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? Italy

15. What color is your bathroom? A mossy green.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't really care about brands. If it's cheap and it fits, it's mine.

17. Where would you retire to: beach, or wooded retreat? Beach please.

18. Favorite time of the day? Evening (relaxing after dinner)

19. What was your most memorable birthday? The year Tom and I went to Niagra Falls - in case you ever think of going to CANADA in DECEMBER - don't. It's not really that fun, but we made the best of it.

20. Where were you born? HELL!!! - yeah, me too. But some people call it Ashtabula

21. Favorite sport to watch? I don't really watch sports on TV

24. What fabric detergent do you use? Anything that smells good and is on sale.

25. Were you named after anyone? Not anyone - but I was named Christie because I was born 3 days before Christmas. Thank god my mom didn't name me Christmas.

26. Do you wish on stars? Yep.

27. When did you last cry? Last week when I didn't get a job I applied for.

28. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes.

29. What is your most embarrassing moment? I have so many. I do dumb shit all the time.

30. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Of course, I'm sweet as can be.

32. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yep. But I beat myself up for it when I do.

33. Do looks matter? Not really

34. How do you release anger? Cry

35. Where is your second home? I don't really have one. I like mine just fine.

36. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies and my Commodore 64 computer.

37. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Math, Science and Gym

38. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I try, but I'm not as good at is as others.

39. Favorite movies? Office Space, An Affair to Remember, Team America, A Mighty Wind, Napoleon Dynamite, Singin' in the Rain

40. What are your nicknames? Used to be - French Frey, Frey, Frey Guy, Fish Frey. Now that I ditched the shitty last name, I am rid of those. Tom calls me Peanut. When we first started dating he said "Sometimes you have to search through a lot of shit to find the peanut. You're my peanut. Thanks, I think.

41. Would you bungee jump? Um, No.

42. Do you think that you are strong? Not physically. Used to not be emotionally, but I am sooooo much better.

43. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Peanut Butter Cup

44. What are your favorite colors? Pink & Black

45. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I overanalyze

46. Who do you miss the most? My Grandma

48. What color pants are you wearing? I'm not wearing pants. I'm wearing my pink skirt.

49. What are you listening to right now? The intern in my office talk about a guy here that hits on him.

50. Last thing you ate? A salad last night for dinner

51. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Pink

52. Last person you talked to on the phone? Tom

53. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes

54. Favorite Drink? Diet Coke

55. Do you wear contacts? Sometimes

56. Favorite Day of the Year? December 22 (my birthday)

57. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Happy Endings - I hate scary movies

59. Hugs OR Kisses? Both

60. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Cheesecake

61. What Book(s) Are You Reading? Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

62. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Nothing - It's plain black

63. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Devine Design

65. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles

66. What's the furthest you've been from home? Aspen, Colorado

Sweet Land of Liberty - Yeah Right

2005-08-04T08:28:00.000-04:00

This is a follow up to my comments made on Kristen's blog - http://kristenbloeser.blogspot.com/

Ok, this could be a long one and will work really hard to be brief. I have been thinking a lot about the state of our government lately. All the things that I thought I believed, I now question. I am not a kook. I think I posted something on MDB's blog about giggling when Warren would speak of his conspiracy theories, but I too have watched some documentaries recently that have really made me question everything I ever believed. It wasn't one person or even two - I think I have seen at least four documentaries that call into question recent events in our history. If you take a step back and look at all of the things going on right now - some things just do not add up.

There is so much to say, but the bottom line is this. The events of September 11th are only relayed to us through the media. We watch the news and say, "how horrible." Those bad terrorists, those poor people. We look at the sadness and the destruction, not the facts behind the event itself. Now, we agree to be searched, because it makes us safer. We say, "I don't mind the government knowing what books I check out of the library; I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not a terrorist." We also say things like, "If it is for the good of the country, I'll do it." However, what if the events that happened on 9/11 were not what they seem. What if the powers that be knew they could strip you of your freedoms with a little fear? What if there was another "attack"? Would we as a country be willing to have the National Guard patrol our streets to make us safer? I wouldn't. We see troops in the streets in other countries - not here. But if it was said that it was being done to "keep us safe" would anyone question it?

Like I said in Kristen's blog - when a group of individuals have all the money they could want, what is left? Power. Global power. There is a group called Project for a New American Century.
http://www.newamericancentury.org/index.html
Take a look at this and see what you think. Here is just one quote from their statement of principles, "We aim to make the case and rally support for American global leadership."

Hmmm....global domination through military force. The boys sit around their conference table and decide that global "leadership" is the way to go, but how could they ever get the American people to buy it? They would never go for us invading other countries for the sake of spreading Democracy. Right? Well, they would if they thought they wouldn't be safe otherwise. It is necessary. What happens if the invasion doesn't go well? Simple. We send more people into space. We clog the news with space walks and missing Alabama girls. We can just gloss over the fact that 20 more Marines died because of carside bombs.

Look, I'm not saying the government committed the crimes of 9/11. I'm not saying that the people who believe in the New American Century did it. I am saying that the facts of the case don't add up if you search beyond what the media has told you. It is a scary thought, I know.

Again, I am not a kook and am not paranoid. I am just questioning the facts that we are given, doing a bit of research, and drawing my own conclusions.

I think it's great that people at least are open to the idea that searches are wrong. I hope everyone becomes more vigilant about their freedoms. For, what is the point of this country if we didn't have them. Wasn't that the idea in the first place?

How Do You Say Pedophile in Arabic?

2005-08-03T13:41:00.000-04:00

Um....yeah. Michael Jackson has reportedly bought property in Bahrain. Huh?

"The longtime Golden State resident has purchased 14 acres' worth of "palatial property" as a "potential new home" in the oil-rich Persian Gulf kingdom, the New York Post first reported Monday. His next-door neighbor is said to be Sheik Abdullah bin Hamad al Khalifa, a longtime friend. " - http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/

Ok. I don't know why I found this so strange, but I did. By the way...there are two swimming pools on his property - one for adults and, you guessed it folks, one for children. Do you think he will sell the Neverland Ranch and move the rides and animals to Bahrain? The locals will love it!

A small highlight

2005-08-02T09:28:00.000-04:00

Well, now that the wedding is over and life is back to normal, I thought I would post a wedding pic for those who couldn't make it. I will add more when I have the disk, but I left it at home today.

It was a wonderful day...I keep saying it was the best day of my life.

I spent the first couple of weeks feeling very different. I felt older and more grown up. It did seem that our relationship changed a little (for the good). I look at him a little different now and continue to smile when I look at the wedding ring on his finger.

Now, I feel a bit more normal, but motivated to finish all the things that I have started. I'm looking forward to going back to school! I'm ready to get this finished.

I'm Back

2005-08-01T17:34:00.000-04:00

I decided to give this blog thing another shot! Third time's a charm.

I have lots to talk about. Seems as though I have an opinion on everything these days. Stay tuned.