Ode To My Older Friend

I want to wish Kristen a...

Happy Birthday!

Saturday was great! It was so nice to get out of the house and feel normal. It was a lovely evening. Even though we don't see each other as frequently as we used to, I still appreciate your friendship very much. It seems hard to believe we have known each other as long as we have. We have been through a lot, and we have managed to always pick up where we left off. You are truly an amazing person. You teach me to be a stronger person and be confident in who I am. I know you don't think that you are as strong as you are, but I appreciate the kind of person you are and look forward to many more years of friendship. Happy Birthday, Bloeser!

Catch-Up

Well, still pregnant. I have 12 weeks left. I am starting to get bored with the whole thing. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. You have these rushes of excitement, and then nothing. I am getting tired of wearing the same 10 shirts and 2 pairs of pants. I'm tired of strangers touching me. I'm tired of people saying...."Oh, you must be almost ready to go." or "You are so big, are you sure you're not having twins?" I'm also tired of going to the bathroom 47 times a day. Anyway, enough complaining.....

Good things:

• I'm looking forward to Kristen's birthday on Saturday!
• Tom and I are going to Pittsburgh tomorrow for a quick getaway and shopping at Ikea.
• By birthday is in 23 days.
• I'm going to be getting a baby shower in a couple of weeks thrown by my two best friends
• My family is coming to my house for Christmas, and that actually makes me very excited
• I have some of my Christmas shopping done which is better than I have done in the past couple of years where I have waited until the week before.
• The weather is amazing even though it will only last a little while longer.
• Even though I'm tired of it, I'm excited to be having a baby. I can't wait to meet her.

So, that's my update. I need to keep up with this blog better. I think it is good therapy for me.

Good Thing I Like Pink

We had our ultrasound today, and our baby is a GIRL! She is totally healthy, and I saw 10 fingers and 10 toes. We were very excited. Doctor said everything looks good and due date is on track for February 23rd, 2007.

Ah, the Sweet Smell of Tuesday

Not much to report, but I figured I should say something. I'm feeling ok. I made it through the first trimester with flying colors, but this second is not so good. I'm super tired, having terrible sinus issues, and I feel a little queezy at times. Ah, well, I knew it couldn't last. We go for an ultrasound on th 20th, so hopefully we will know the sex of the baby after that visit. I'm pretty excited about it. I haven't seen the baby since my first visit, and it just looked like a snowman. So, this should be exciting. I will post after the appointment for sure. I know everyone is dying to know.

This weekend was nice. Had dinner with Andy on Friday, school on Saturday (yawn), and a visit from Alli (now, that makes any weekend fabulous). Otherwise, uneventful.

Yesterday, I was a bit under the weather (see above sinus issue), and I slept most of the day away. Well, about 4:00, I needed a ginger ale, so I headed to the gas station on the corner. While on my way, there were about 5-6 helicopters hovering over my neighborhood. Because I lead a relatively boring existence, the excitement of something happening in my neighborhood was intriguing. So, I got on the highway thinking I would run into a car crash or something. When I got to Edgewater park, and didn't see anything, I decided to take a ride through the park and head home. Little did I know that the excitement was at the park! There were news crews everywhere, along with fire trucks and police. I got out of the car to check it out. Good thing it wasn't a crazy guy shooting up the beach, because I walked right into it. I decide to make friends with the most normal looking guy who fills me in about the boys that decided to take a swim with 8 foot waves. Brilliant. They had already pulled one of them out and he was rushed to the hospital. They were still searching for the other. I was right in the midddle of the action and some of the news cameras were right on me. "Great," I think to myself,"I don't go to work today, and the five minutes I spend outside will now be on the evening news." I watched the divers and Coast Guard boat for about a half hour and decided I would rather not see the other body dragged out of the lake and headed home to watch the drama on the news. I actually saw all the kids they interviewed on the news and it was very sad. However, come on, why are you swimming in the lake with 8 foot waves? Anyway, I wasn't on the news, so no autographs for you! For more info.....read here

That was my exciting sick day. I look out the window today, and it sure is a nice day to spend in bed. Too bad I did that yesterday.

Thursday Bores

I have a case of the Thursday bores. By this time in the week, I have no desire to do anything. I end up reading news on the internet, commenting on blogs, and actually posting on my own. I have been in such a foul mood the last couple of days. I have actually been proud of myself for opening my mouth and telling people how I feel when I feel it. Maybe all of my assertive friends are rubbing off on me.

Looking forward to Audient's birthday bash. I wish I didn't have so much homework to do on Sunday so I could hang out with Alli and Kristen, although Kristen may want Alli all to herself. Perhaps I will get up early on Sunday and try to get much of the work done, and then go out and play. Let's just hope I'm as disciplined as I appear to be here.

I find that when I become addicted to a show that when the week's episode is done, I'm always a bit depressed that I can't watch the new one right away. It seems like a whole week is just too long to wait.

Well, I guess that's all for now.

Instead of Trying to Lose Weight, I Will Now Be Super Fat

Well, I feel like I can now announce to everyone....

I'm pregnant! Tom and I found out just after Father's Day, and I couldn't keep the secret from most people. Now that I am 12 weeks today, I feel like I can shout it to the world. I am due February 23, and it can't come soon enough. It is a lot to take in and prepare for, but I don't have much patience for such things. I get too excited. I got my first ultrasound in July just to make sure everything was ok, and it looks like we are having a snowman. :) Alli has been lovingly referring to the baby as Taco, as "the baby" is just worn out. I had my second doctor's appointment on August 3rd and all is well. Doc told me to keep up the good work. Taco's heart rate was 150 and they tell me that's normal. Everything else was good. Only 8 more weeks and we can find out what we're having!

In other news, we are moving. We found a brand new apartment that is still a 2 bedroom, but it is much bigger and offers more ammenities in the suite. We will have a washer and dryer in the unit and a dishwasher. Two necessities with a new baby. The best part about moving this time, is that I can't move a thing. I suppose I could lift a few light boxes, but you can't be too safe.....right? We actually decided to get movers because we're just sick and tired of moving! After I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out and wanted to move back to Ashtabula. Luckily, Tom and I were able to compromise on half-way. We will be on the Mentor/Painesville line. We are really excited to be in a brand new place (our building won't be finished until the week before we move in).

So, that's my news....I know, it's a lot to take in. I will try to keep up with this blog and how we are doing.

With Love,
Mom of Taco

Ah, I'm back

Had to take a breather from blogging. I just haven't had the time...

Updates:
Taryn is here for the summer. She should be here until the end of July. What a change in our lives! I now have to worry about "kid stuff" and doing things besides just working and going to school.

I am in school this summer taking two classes.

Work has been super busy. I don't have to time to do anything at work...except work. What a concept.

Otherwise, everything is normal. Tom and I will be celebrating one year of wedded bliss on June 25th. It doesn't seem like a year has past. For as busy as I am now, at least I can be happy that I'm not planning a wedding on top of it all like last year. I haven't had much "social" time lately. I miss my friends.

In Memory

One year ago today I was sitting in a hospital room with my grandma. She had been admitted in the hospital and the prognosis was not good. My aunt had come from Colorado, and we were all taking our turn at the hospital. My mom and aunt had gone home to rest for a minute and have something to eat. I arrived and my grandma looked horrible. She had not woken up since the night before. When she was awake, she wasn't really with it. It was so hard to watch a woman who worked until she was 75 be so helpless. So, I sat with her. I held her hand. I told her it was ok - if she was hurting that we we would be ok. Tears quietly ran down my face as I whispered to her. Then, I couldn't hear her breathing. She was having such a hard time when I came in that it was a significant difference. I was so scared. She wasn't breathing and I was alone. I ran into the hallway and got a nurse. I wasn't necessarily scared that she was dying. I was scared that no one was here, and I knew my mom and aunt would want to be there to say goodbye. The nurse came back in with me and checked the vitals. They weren't good. She told me to sit with my grandma and hold her hand and comfort her as she was about to slip away. I tried to call my mom, but her phone was busy. All I could think to myself is - Who doesn't have call waiting. Seriously. I called my sister and reached her. What I said is a bit of a blur. She was in Fairport eating dinner and was rushing to be with me. I remember telling her that grandma was gone. No one in my family had ever died before. At least not anyone close to me. I sat with her as tears continued to flow. I told her it would be ok and I was here with her. I remember her taking one more breath, and then she was quiet. I knew the worst was to come. Everyone would be coming here and it would be awful. I shared a beautiful moment of peace with my grandma that no one will ever understand. I called my mom's one last time. It rang. I handed the phone to the nurse because I just couldn't tell my mom that her mom was dead. The nurse told my mom to get there right away. She then said that she was going to clean up the room before everyone arrived. I stepped out to get some air. In the middle of all this I called Tom and knew he was on his way. As I stepped out of the elevator, my brother, his wife, and daughter were walking in just to visit grandma. When they saw me they knew. My sister-in-law grabbed me. As we hugged, Tom walked in. I ran to him and he held me tighter than he ever had before. He took me outside for some air. As we were standing outside, my mom and aunt pulled up. As my brother had known by looking at me, so did my mom and aunt. They screamed and cried no. My mom fell to the ground. I had never seen grief like that in my life. I was so hurt for them. My aunt grabbed my hand and forced me up to her room because I don't think she really believed it. My mom couldn't bring herself to go in the room. I had to hold her up. I was so sad for my mom. My aunt kept grabbing me and yelling, "The baby, The baby. She had to go through this all on her own." I assured her I was ok and that grandma went peacefully. Which she did.

The whole experience showed me how strong I really am. I held my aunt together, which is not an easy task. My motto and mantra for the family was "power through". I knew there were certain things that we needed to do and none were going to be easy. Today, we are all ok. Still sad, but ok. I miss my grandma. I wish I could call her one more time. Sit with her for one more hour. Have her send me home with a box of crafts just once more. Don't we all when we lose someone? I have verbalized this story very little. Like I said, I've never had lost someone close to me, let alone had to watch it happen. The pastor at my grandma's church hugged me the day of the funeral and told me that I was chosen. Chosen by my grandma and the angels to escort her to heaven. I like to think so.

I love you grandma.

To My Husband

Tomorrow, Tom will turn 29. We will be busy on our birthday adventure tomorrow, so I wanted to take some time to write a tribute to the man who has changed my life.

I have had my share of bad relationships (but hasn't everyone). I wanted to find that one person that would make my world complete, and I didn't think I was ever going to find it. Then, I met Tom. I was actually dating a friend of his. One night, said friend was stopping by and asked if I minded that Tommy St. Angelo stop by too. I said no, and since I was living with my sister at the time, thought maybe they could hang out. Well, they showed up, and Tom and my sister sat awkwardly on a love seat. It wasn't looking like a love connection. Looking back, it really was hilarious. They both looked so uncomfortable. They still joke about it today. Then, 4th of July came and I was at a party with said friend. Lo and behold, so was Tom. We spent the entire evening debating and having great conversation. Both of us had a bit too much to drink and the friend had to drive us home. Tom sat in the back of my little red Cavalier, and I was in the passenger seat. When I've had a bit to drink, I think that I can have my own personal concert with the radio. So, I started belting out the song, and Tom said, "Is that an angel up there singin'?" (Insert slight southern accent having just moved from N. Carolina). I smiled on the inside for the first time in a long time.

A few days later, I decided that I wanted to go out with Tom. I got up enough courage (translation: drank 5 beers) and went to his house. I knocked on the door and asked him if he had plans later and if he wanted to grab a few beers. He accepted....the rest is history.

Well, it wasn't always easy. Everyone has their troubles when they are first dating - you have to work out all the wrinkles. In June we were married. It was the happiest day of my life. I didn't know it was possible to have someone love me so much, and for me to love them equally in return. We are a team. He saved me. I was struggling with depression and drinking. I hated myself and my life. He changed all that.

To most people, Tom is quiet, shy, and laid back. To me, he is hilarious, intelligent, and well spoken. I don't think people knew what to make of us when we were first dating. How could this work? We are so different. But we're not. He makes me laugh. I find myself giggling like a little kid in bed when we are just talking. I am able to be myself - completely. He doesn't judge me, but rather gives his honest opinion. I know he will always tell me the truth. He helps me be a better person - a stronger person. I don't let people walk on me anymore - well, at least not as much as I used to. I believe in who I am and what I have to offer people. All because of him.

I am so proud of my husband. He is thoughtful and careful. He plans. He works hard. He researches. He has a goofy side (that I think I see more than anyone). I sometimes say he is like having a good girlfriend for a roommate. He indulges my whims and gives me advice. He is an amazing father to his daughter, and it lets me geta glimpse into what he will be like with our kids. Taryn loves her dad, and he loves her so much. I don't know how he deals with her being so far away, but he manages to be a great dad even when she is hundreds of miles away - when my dad couldn't do it living in the same town. Taryn is a lucky girl to have Tom for her daddy.

I love him more everyday, and even though he hates his birthday, I celebrate it. It gives me the chance to celebrate him and the person that he is.

I love you, Tom. Happy Birthday!

Thank you Tam

St. Angelo-Lickin' Good.

Yep, that was my slogan at the Sloganizer. Of course it was.

And this one....


It's That Christie Feeling.


I could play with this all afternoon...but alas, I must work.

Ode to a Hairlip and Mandy Moore

I can't believe frickin Kevin is still on American Idol. Actually, I can. Somewhere along the line, people started to feel sorry for ol' Kev, and voted. Blech. I can't explain to anyone how much I can't stand that kid. If he were a cute character on a sit com, ok, I'd buy it. However, I can't stand the way he sings, and I can't even stand to look at him when he performs. I don't know why I have such a distain, but I do. I hope he gets kicked off this next week. I won't be able to take it. I was shocked that Gidion (or however you spell it) went home. While he was creepy, he is CERTAINLY BETTER THAN KEVIN. Ugh.

On the Mandy Moore/Will Makar front...you be the judge.



In other news...

1. My back is fine. I got some preliminary results from the doc and everything was normal. So, my personal explanation is that I'm too fat to support my own body. Apparently, people who carry their weight in their stomach area are at risk for back trouble. So, Tam you weren't that far off with your idea that it's my big rack. It may very well be part of the issue. So, I am working on those issues. No more fatty mcfat for me!

2. I am going back to Hiram in April or the Summer. I didn't really have it in me to transfer again, so I'm sticking it out. I said I wasn't going to tell anyone and do this just for me, but we all know I'm incapable of that.

3. We have an exciting weekend planned with good friends and family. I look forward to a good time, lots of pics, and lots of stories. That requires me, however, to clean my apartment. One big project will be removing cat hair from the futon so people can sleep on it. I swear I can make another cat from the hair I clean EVERY weekend.

4. Work is great! I love my job. I haven't said that in awhile, but I really do.

I think that is all for now. I'm sure I will have more to post about later, and since it is Friday, I may have the time to do it later.

Have a great weekend (in case I don't post).

Thoughts on a Friday

On Monday, I met Toni Morrison. It was cool. It was only for like 5 seconds, but I got to shake her hand and say how nice it was to meet her. I have been helping an old boss of mine with a project she is working on and so is Ms. Morrison. It was very cool. The only other famous people I have met (besides artists) were the members of White Zombie (minus Rob Zombie), and I have to say I actually enjoyed Toni Morrison more even if it was for only a second. I don't care too much about White Zombie.


I have started eating healthier. I promised myself for one month that I will not eat cheese, oil or butter. By the way, a lot of things have that stuff in it. I am doing well. Granted, it has only been 3 days, but I notice a huge difference already in the way I feel. I am more focused at work, and I actually feel like doing things when I get home. Tom and I joined the YMCA and were really good about going, but he is worried about me doing too much with my back issues (see below). However, I think I can use the elliptical or swim. Either of those shouldn't hurt me. So, I think I will go tomorrow morning to Aqua Aerobics. I'm sure I will be the youngest person there by about 40 years, but I'm gonna groove with the grannies.



My back....I have had issues with my back for some time. Only now has it gotten to the point where it hurts every day. It used to be just when I was on my feet for a long time, or rearranged my furniture, or cleaned the house. Now, it hurts with everything I do. Not just a little hurt. Like, take my breath away hurt. So, I have been seeing doctors for the past 2-3 months still trying to figure out what it is. I had an MRI on Tuesday. Boy, was that weird. It wasn't too bad, though. I am not claustrophobic, so it didn't bother me. Hopefully, I will find something out and not have to have surgery. This is also another reason why I am trying to be healthier. I know part of the problem with my back is my weight. If I can solve part of the issue myself and take away this pain....I will.
So, the girl gave me my pics from the MRI, "for my records". They do me no good. I looked at them as soon as I got home, and I had no idea what I was looking at. I don't know what I thought I would see. Surprise! I'm not a doctor. Oh, well. I am waiting patiently for a follow up with the doc.

On a lighter note, I too am looking forward to the Oscars. I haven't seen hardly any of the movies, but I would like to try to see a few this weekend. Below are my picks in Kristen's pool.

Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
Best Director: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain
Best Actor: Joaquin Phoenix for Walk the Line
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line
Best Supporting Actor: Jake Gyllenhaal for Brokeback Mountain
Best Supporting Actress: Michelle Williams for Brokeback Mountain
Best Original Screenplay: Syriana - Stephen Gaghan
Best Adapted Screenplay: Capote - Dan Futterman
Cinematography: Memoirs of a Geisha
Costume Design: Memoirs of a Geisha
Original Score: Memoirs of a Geisha
Original Song: "Travelin' Thru" - Transamerica - Dolly Parton
Best Animated Feature Film: Corpse Bride
Best Foreign Language Film: Paradise Now (Palestine)
Best Documentary Feature: Murderball

I am Alive

Yes, I'm alive. I just haven't had much to say. Not that today is any different. Tom and I traveled to Loudenville, Ohio on Wednesday to stay at Landoll's Mohican Castle. What a fabulous getaway. With our schedules, we never (and I mean NEVER) get to spend a full 24 hours together. We stayed in the Thering Suite. Beautiful. Tom kicked my butt in a rousing game of Sorry, and we spent time just relaxing.

Then we came home. I got the call from Kristen about Ray. I was stunned and upset. We aren't supposed to be visiting friends in the hospital for serious issues. But maybe we're not as young and spry as we used to be. It does make you think - that's for sure. I think some life changes are on the way in the St. Angelo house. I have too many things I want to do in my life to worry about being healthy enough to do it.

I wish and hope nothing but the best for Ray! I will do all I can to help Kristen out, because I couldn't even imagine what she is thinking. What a roller coaster. Everything will be ok. It will all be fine "with a little help from my friends" (as Chad pointed out is so appropriate).

Thanks Kristen

Yeah, so I have my massotherapy appointment in about 5 minutes. I have spent all morning pondering words that Kristen said to me on Saturday. Upon learning that I was doing massotherapy she said, "Aren't you afraid you'll fart." I wasn't...until today. Thanks.

Thanks for the lecture lady!

So the best part of my weekend was seeing Harry Potter with Kristen. She wanted to see it one more time before it left the theater and I was the only person she had not seen it with. We both giggled at the same parts and got excited at the same parts etc. It was magical. Everything about the day was magical until Kristen thought it would be a good idea to pick a fight in the theater after the movie had ended. To her defense, there was a mother and two very small children sitting behind us. Well, one the girls stood leaning against Kristen's chair the ENTIRE movie chewing gum in her ear. The other child coughed the ENTIRE movie. I don't mean like a little kid cough, but full blown smoker's cough! It was rather frightening. So, I knew it was only a matter of time before Kristen blew her stack and yelled at this woman. We've all read her posts and how she feels about social graces. So, the movie ends, and I immediately try to engage her in a conversation, hoping to make it out of the theater. So I say, "it was so good. I'm glad I saw the movie." Kristen says, "Yeah, I like it to. I would have like it better (louder and louder), IF SOME PEOPLE COULD LEARN TO CONTROL THEIR CHILDREN." I continue to try and engage her in conversation, but then the woman in front of us pipes up and decides to tell Kristen, "Well, it IS a children's movie." But then agreed that children should be removed from the theater. Then asks Kristen if she has any children. Kristen replies, "No, and thanks for the lecture lady." Now, I am about as non-confrontational as they come, so I was probably more worried about things than I needed to be. However, Kristen had to use the potty before we left, and I waited outside (secretly hoping the girl didn't jump out and beat my ass). So, I decide to peek around the corner to see if Kristen was on her way out. I end of looking directly into the eyes of "the girl". I am now worried that there will be an altercation in the bathroom. Thankfully, no altercations.

The rest of the night was filled with Texas Tea and steak. MMMM. MMMM. Good.