Ho Hum

Knowing that not very many people read this anymore, I feel a little better about what I'm about to write. Sometimes I look at everyone else's blogs and wish their life was mine. Everyone is out together, having fun, taking pictures, being social, having friends. I have none of it. I live in a world of housework, baby diapers, and work. I get out with Tom. I had a great weekend, but sometimes I just find myself being sad. I brush it off as the weather. I say to myself, "it will be different in the summer. You're just suffering from the normal winter blues." Maybe that is true. But deep down I think it is something more. I feel like I live in the movie Groundhog Day. I wake up and do everything over and over and over and over again. I don't know the answer. Maybe it is just life. This is just what happens. Still, I look at other blogs and wish I was there. I wish I could magically jump into the computer and be somewhere, share an inside joke, laugh. I don't know the answer. I don't have a solution. I don't know that there are any. Grrr.

Stuff

First, Go ABC with your new line up this fall. I love Dirty Sexy Money, Big SHots, and Pushing Daisies. Of course I am also a fan of the old stand-by - The Bachelor. Don't judge me. I think almost all the shows we are watching this fall are on ABC. Our luck, though, they will be cancelled. All the shows we loved last season are gone. Maybe that says something about our taste.

At the new job. Loving it. They got me rolling on work on the first day, so I have kept busy. I have a ton of training and what not coming up. It will be great!

That's all for now.

New Beginnings

Ah, I sit at my desk on my second to last day of work at a company I have been with for six years. I am filled with emotions of excitement, nervousness, anticipation, and a whole host of others. I recently accepted a position as CWRU in their Corporate Relations Department. Inevitably, when you start a new job, you begin to wonder if you can live up to the BS that you laid out in an interview. People have expectations of what you will be like. It always works out, and you always "get it" and do well. But there is always that first worry of failure. That you can't possilby live up to what they think you are. Then, six months from now, you laugh at the idea that you would have failed.

I'm so excited to start my new adventure. I have never worked outside the corporate world, and I look forward to the change. I don't know what to expect, and I'm trying not to set any expectations. All I know is this is the best move I have made in my working life so far. This could be a job where I really feel like I make a difference in the world, and it may be more than just about profits and shareholders. I'm ready for my new beginning.

Wow...has it really been this long

I know, I know. I haven't posted in forever. No one probably even looks at this anymore. I will try to do a better job of keeping up. This summer has been so busy. Taryn got here 4th of July weekend - it has been a whirlwind since. She goes home on Saturday, and I start school next Saturday. I don't think things will be slowing down any time soon. The baby is wonderful, and so is being a mom. I couldn't have imagined how wonderful it would be! We also have a new house that we moved into in June. It is so nice to have so much more space and a yard. It is a lot of work, though. That's pretty much how we have spent our summer. I am posting pictures of Marigrace below. These are the most recent pics I have. We went to the zoo a couple of weeks ago, and that's where these are from. Although, by the pics you can't tell we were at the zoo, because she is in her stroller.

Finally Have the Time to Post

Well, she's here. It was certainly worth the wait. So far, motherhood is everything I hoped it would be. I love her to bits...

I tried to upload photos, but it's not working.

Here are the specifics, though:

Marigrace Elizabeth St. Angelo
Born: March 2, 2007 @ 9:59 PM
Weight: 7 lbs. 14oz.
Length: 20-3/4" long

I will try to get some pics up here, or enlist Kristen's help next time she is here.

Well, The Due Date Has Passed

It is now Monday - still no baby. The doctor said on Friday "On a scale of 1-10 of being ready, you are at about a 3." Yeah, I was only 1-2 cm dialated. She basically is not coming out. So, we are going on Thursday night to get induced. I will start medication on Thursday night that thins the cervix and start petocin on Friday morning. With any luck, she will be born on Friday. I'm hoping it doesn't last into Saturday. I am maintaining a good attitude, and am actually a bit relieved that it is playing out this way. I am a planner. I like to know when things are happening, and now I can prepare and plan for this too. We are going to spend this week cleaning and doing laundry - generally just getting ready. Then, I may even go for a pedicure and give myself a manicure. I think I may prefer it this way. So, unless by some miracle she decides to come earlier....Thursday/Friday is the time.

On another note, I watched the Oscars and they were pretty good. I only stayed awake until 10:30, which means I missed the best parts. I was so happy Allen Arkin won for best supporting actor because Little Miss Sunshine was my favorite movie this year. Although, it was the only movie I saw that was up for any awards. I guess my opinion doesn't count for much. I had also grown tired of the "green" message, so I was happy to crawl into bed and miss the end. I got to find out who won on the news this morning. Don't get me wrong...I like the earth, I just don't agree with Hollywood always having to promote their "messages". Entertain me. I could write an entire post that would probably real fire people up, but I'm not in the mood for an argument. I just don't think Hollywood people's opinion should be thrown in my face while I'm trying to be entertained. I'm not saying that to make anyone mad. Just how I feel. :)

Have a lovely Monday!

Week 39

Well, week 39 has arrived. Tom and I have now figured that I will go past my due date and have to be induced or something. I am looking at the bright side - this means I can make an "appointment" to have the baby and be totally prepared. I can take a shower, do my nails, and put on some makeup. I will have the best "new mom" pictures on the block rather than the "I rolled out of bed at 3:30 AM when my water broke" pictures. See, there is a bright side to everything.

Sorry if I have been out of touch with everyone lately. The anticipation of having a baby is crazy. I go to work and come home and wait. I'm usually asleep before 9:00. I'm trying to save up my sleep. Not sure if that will work, but I'm takin' the Z's while I can get them.

Tom and I really want to see the new movie Music & Lyrics, but I just can't bring my watermelon ass to sit in a movie theater for 2 hours. Maybe when MG is born, we can get a quick night out and go see it. That's what grandmas are for. :)

Don't have much else to talk about. Happy Friday! I'll try to keep everyone posted.

Yep, Still Here

Well, 38 weeks tomorrow. Two more to go until my due date. I have been hearing for weeks how "ready" I look. "Oh, she'll be here anytime." "You'll be lucky to make it through the week." That was 3 weeks ago. Still here. I have decided that I am going to stop listening to what everyone says, and my new mantra is, "she'll come when she's ready." Hey, if I was in a nice warm place and got fed all the time, I wouldn't come out either. It's damn cold out here. Everything is ready to go. The bags are packed. She'll come when she's ready.

In other news...Tom's grandma passed away on Sunday. She has been sick for so long, that it is almost a blessing. The funeral is tomorrow, and Tom and I are doing the readings at the church. I was touched that they thought of me to do it. Once all this is taken care of, I will be totally ready to have this baby. We just need to get through all this first.

I have been saying that the baby will come on Saturday because that is Taryn's birthday. Then both girls will have the same birthday. I would feel really bad if Taryn had to share her birthday, but what can I do? I suppose I could try to cross my legs all day Saturday, but something tells me it wouldn't make a difference. Oh, well. If it happens, it happens.

We ordered 10 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies from Taryn. I can't wait until she gets here on the 16th so I can have some. Ah, sitting at home with my new baby, eating Girl Scout Cookies - that sounds like the life for me. Yes please.

Why can't I concentrate on anything. I feel like my mind is wandering aimlessly everywhere than where it is supposed to be. Too much in there.

I missed Idol last night. Fell asleep at 8:30. That's not unusual. Hope I can stay awake tonight - at least until 9:30 when 30 Rock comes one. I hate that show.

If you didn't watch Idol last night, these will make no sense...

"My name is Darwin, but people call me Mischa."

"Apparently Mischa has never heard of a bra."

"Or lip liner."

" I thought she was sunburned at first."

"Go ahead and make fun of me, but I have a little crush on Blake."

"Um, who doesn't? And his dad a little."

"Zitsman."

"Holy shit, Tam's right, that does look like my brother."

"Christie, is the baby ok? Alli, maybe she shouldn't be watching this in her condition."

"This commercial kills me, who the fuck spends 9 grand on a ring?"

"Two words....horse teeth."

"Ladies, I hope you paid attention. Your dog will leave you and raise a flag if you don't lay off the grass." (This one is my personal favorite).

"Was that not good enough? I hit the HIGH PARTS LIKE THIIIIS and the low parts like THIIIIIIS."

"You know what I say? Keep with it dude, it works."

"He totally has Darren's Dance Grooves."

"Twista train...woo woo!"

"I want to have big reds baby!"

"Don't sing it, just bring it!"

The Dust Has Settled

Ah, another year has passed.

Updates:
The visit with Taryn was good, and we found out that she is moving back to Ohio. Yay! Our family will now be complete, and she will be able to spend as much time with her new baby sister as she wants. Tom is so excited. It's like someone made his biggest wish come true.

6 Weeks left until my due date. I'm hoping she'll come in 4. Start the wagers now.

I finally took my Christmas decorations down. I'm usually the girl who has it all done and put away on January 2nd. Not this year. It's done, though.

Holidays in general were really nice. Quiet and relaxing, and I can't say that too often, so it was a very nice year.

I got into a minor car accident the Friday before New Years. Some guy backed into me in the parking lot at work when I was leaving. No worries - baby and I are fine. Car is not fine. I have to take it Thursday to get fixed, and it could take a couple of weeks. I guess this is a good excuse to clean the car.

Otherwise, just working and preparing for baby. I'm ready to meet her, wear normal clothes, not waddle, and just generally feel "normal" again. Soon enough.

Ode To My Older Friend

I want to wish Kristen a...

Happy Birthday!

Saturday was great! It was so nice to get out of the house and feel normal. It was a lovely evening. Even though we don't see each other as frequently as we used to, I still appreciate your friendship very much. It seems hard to believe we have known each other as long as we have. We have been through a lot, and we have managed to always pick up where we left off. You are truly an amazing person. You teach me to be a stronger person and be confident in who I am. I know you don't think that you are as strong as you are, but I appreciate the kind of person you are and look forward to many more years of friendship. Happy Birthday, Bloeser!

Catch-Up

Well, still pregnant. I have 12 weeks left. I am starting to get bored with the whole thing. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. You have these rushes of excitement, and then nothing. I am getting tired of wearing the same 10 shirts and 2 pairs of pants. I'm tired of strangers touching me. I'm tired of people saying...."Oh, you must be almost ready to go." or "You are so big, are you sure you're not having twins?" I'm also tired of going to the bathroom 47 times a day. Anyway, enough complaining.....

Good things:

• I'm looking forward to Kristen's birthday on Saturday!
• Tom and I are going to Pittsburgh tomorrow for a quick getaway and shopping at Ikea.
• By birthday is in 23 days.
• I'm going to be getting a baby shower in a couple of weeks thrown by my two best friends
• My family is coming to my house for Christmas, and that actually makes me very excited
• I have some of my Christmas shopping done which is better than I have done in the past couple of years where I have waited until the week before.
• The weather is amazing even though it will only last a little while longer.
• Even though I'm tired of it, I'm excited to be having a baby. I can't wait to meet her.

So, that's my update. I need to keep up with this blog better. I think it is good therapy for me.

Good Thing I Like Pink

We had our ultrasound today, and our baby is a GIRL! She is totally healthy, and I saw 10 fingers and 10 toes. We were very excited. Doctor said everything looks good and due date is on track for February 23rd, 2007.

Ah, the Sweet Smell of Tuesday

Not much to report, but I figured I should say something. I'm feeling ok. I made it through the first trimester with flying colors, but this second is not so good. I'm super tired, having terrible sinus issues, and I feel a little queezy at times. Ah, well, I knew it couldn't last. We go for an ultrasound on th 20th, so hopefully we will know the sex of the baby after that visit. I'm pretty excited about it. I haven't seen the baby since my first visit, and it just looked like a snowman. So, this should be exciting. I will post after the appointment for sure. I know everyone is dying to know.

This weekend was nice. Had dinner with Andy on Friday, school on Saturday (yawn), and a visit from Alli (now, that makes any weekend fabulous). Otherwise, uneventful.

Yesterday, I was a bit under the weather (see above sinus issue), and I slept most of the day away. Well, about 4:00, I needed a ginger ale, so I headed to the gas station on the corner. While on my way, there were about 5-6 helicopters hovering over my neighborhood. Because I lead a relatively boring existence, the excitement of something happening in my neighborhood was intriguing. So, I got on the highway thinking I would run into a car crash or something. When I got to Edgewater park, and didn't see anything, I decided to take a ride through the park and head home. Little did I know that the excitement was at the park! There were news crews everywhere, along with fire trucks and police. I got out of the car to check it out. Good thing it wasn't a crazy guy shooting up the beach, because I walked right into it. I decide to make friends with the most normal looking guy who fills me in about the boys that decided to take a swim with 8 foot waves. Brilliant. They had already pulled one of them out and he was rushed to the hospital. They were still searching for the other. I was right in the midddle of the action and some of the news cameras were right on me. "Great," I think to myself,"I don't go to work today, and the five minutes I spend outside will now be on the evening news." I watched the divers and Coast Guard boat for about a half hour and decided I would rather not see the other body dragged out of the lake and headed home to watch the drama on the news. I actually saw all the kids they interviewed on the news and it was very sad. However, come on, why are you swimming in the lake with 8 foot waves? Anyway, I wasn't on the news, so no autographs for you! For more info.....read here

That was my exciting sick day. I look out the window today, and it sure is a nice day to spend in bed. Too bad I did that yesterday.

Thursday Bores

I have a case of the Thursday bores. By this time in the week, I have no desire to do anything. I end up reading news on the internet, commenting on blogs, and actually posting on my own. I have been in such a foul mood the last couple of days. I have actually been proud of myself for opening my mouth and telling people how I feel when I feel it. Maybe all of my assertive friends are rubbing off on me.

Looking forward to Audient's birthday bash. I wish I didn't have so much homework to do on Sunday so I could hang out with Alli and Kristen, although Kristen may want Alli all to herself. Perhaps I will get up early on Sunday and try to get much of the work done, and then go out and play. Let's just hope I'm as disciplined as I appear to be here.

I find that when I become addicted to a show that when the week's episode is done, I'm always a bit depressed that I can't watch the new one right away. It seems like a whole week is just too long to wait.

Well, I guess that's all for now.

Instead of Trying to Lose Weight, I Will Now Be Super Fat

Well, I feel like I can now announce to everyone....

I'm pregnant! Tom and I found out just after Father's Day, and I couldn't keep the secret from most people. Now that I am 12 weeks today, I feel like I can shout it to the world. I am due February 23, and it can't come soon enough. It is a lot to take in and prepare for, but I don't have much patience for such things. I get too excited. I got my first ultrasound in July just to make sure everything was ok, and it looks like we are having a snowman. :) Alli has been lovingly referring to the baby as Taco, as "the baby" is just worn out. I had my second doctor's appointment on August 3rd and all is well. Doc told me to keep up the good work. Taco's heart rate was 150 and they tell me that's normal. Everything else was good. Only 8 more weeks and we can find out what we're having!

In other news, we are moving. We found a brand new apartment that is still a 2 bedroom, but it is much bigger and offers more ammenities in the suite. We will have a washer and dryer in the unit and a dishwasher. Two necessities with a new baby. The best part about moving this time, is that I can't move a thing. I suppose I could lift a few light boxes, but you can't be too safe.....right? We actually decided to get movers because we're just sick and tired of moving! After I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out and wanted to move back to Ashtabula. Luckily, Tom and I were able to compromise on half-way. We will be on the Mentor/Painesville line. We are really excited to be in a brand new place (our building won't be finished until the week before we move in).

So, that's my news....I know, it's a lot to take in. I will try to keep up with this blog and how we are doing.

With Love,
Mom of Taco

Ah, I'm back

Had to take a breather from blogging. I just haven't had the time...

Updates:
Taryn is here for the summer. She should be here until the end of July. What a change in our lives! I now have to worry about "kid stuff" and doing things besides just working and going to school.

I am in school this summer taking two classes.

Work has been super busy. I don't have to time to do anything at work...except work. What a concept.

Otherwise, everything is normal. Tom and I will be celebrating one year of wedded bliss on June 25th. It doesn't seem like a year has past. For as busy as I am now, at least I can be happy that I'm not planning a wedding on top of it all like last year. I haven't had much "social" time lately. I miss my friends.

In Memory

One year ago today I was sitting in a hospital room with my grandma. She had been admitted in the hospital and the prognosis was not good. My aunt had come from Colorado, and we were all taking our turn at the hospital. My mom and aunt had gone home to rest for a minute and have something to eat. I arrived and my grandma looked horrible. She had not woken up since the night before. When she was awake, she wasn't really with it. It was so hard to watch a woman who worked until she was 75 be so helpless. So, I sat with her. I held her hand. I told her it was ok - if she was hurting that we we would be ok. Tears quietly ran down my face as I whispered to her. Then, I couldn't hear her breathing. She was having such a hard time when I came in that it was a significant difference. I was so scared. She wasn't breathing and I was alone. I ran into the hallway and got a nurse. I wasn't necessarily scared that she was dying. I was scared that no one was here, and I knew my mom and aunt would want to be there to say goodbye. The nurse came back in with me and checked the vitals. They weren't good. She told me to sit with my grandma and hold her hand and comfort her as she was about to slip away. I tried to call my mom, but her phone was busy. All I could think to myself is - Who doesn't have call waiting. Seriously. I called my sister and reached her. What I said is a bit of a blur. She was in Fairport eating dinner and was rushing to be with me. I remember telling her that grandma was gone. No one in my family had ever died before. At least not anyone close to me. I sat with her as tears continued to flow. I told her it would be ok and I was here with her. I remember her taking one more breath, and then she was quiet. I knew the worst was to come. Everyone would be coming here and it would be awful. I shared a beautiful moment of peace with my grandma that no one will ever understand. I called my mom's one last time. It rang. I handed the phone to the nurse because I just couldn't tell my mom that her mom was dead. The nurse told my mom to get there right away. She then said that she was going to clean up the room before everyone arrived. I stepped out to get some air. In the middle of all this I called Tom and knew he was on his way. As I stepped out of the elevator, my brother, his wife, and daughter were walking in just to visit grandma. When they saw me they knew. My sister-in-law grabbed me. As we hugged, Tom walked in. I ran to him and he held me tighter than he ever had before. He took me outside for some air. As we were standing outside, my mom and aunt pulled up. As my brother had known by looking at me, so did my mom and aunt. They screamed and cried no. My mom fell to the ground. I had never seen grief like that in my life. I was so hurt for them. My aunt grabbed my hand and forced me up to her room because I don't think she really believed it. My mom couldn't bring herself to go in the room. I had to hold her up. I was so sad for my mom. My aunt kept grabbing me and yelling, "The baby, The baby. She had to go through this all on her own." I assured her I was ok and that grandma went peacefully. Which she did.

The whole experience showed me how strong I really am. I held my aunt together, which is not an easy task. My motto and mantra for the family was "power through". I knew there were certain things that we needed to do and none were going to be easy. Today, we are all ok. Still sad, but ok. I miss my grandma. I wish I could call her one more time. Sit with her for one more hour. Have her send me home with a box of crafts just once more. Don't we all when we lose someone? I have verbalized this story very little. Like I said, I've never had lost someone close to me, let alone had to watch it happen. The pastor at my grandma's church hugged me the day of the funeral and told me that I was chosen. Chosen by my grandma and the angels to escort her to heaven. I like to think so.

I love you grandma.

To My Husband

Tomorrow, Tom will turn 29. We will be busy on our birthday adventure tomorrow, so I wanted to take some time to write a tribute to the man who has changed my life.

I have had my share of bad relationships (but hasn't everyone). I wanted to find that one person that would make my world complete, and I didn't think I was ever going to find it. Then, I met Tom. I was actually dating a friend of his. One night, said friend was stopping by and asked if I minded that Tommy St. Angelo stop by too. I said no, and since I was living with my sister at the time, thought maybe they could hang out. Well, they showed up, and Tom and my sister sat awkwardly on a love seat. It wasn't looking like a love connection. Looking back, it really was hilarious. They both looked so uncomfortable. They still joke about it today. Then, 4th of July came and I was at a party with said friend. Lo and behold, so was Tom. We spent the entire evening debating and having great conversation. Both of us had a bit too much to drink and the friend had to drive us home. Tom sat in the back of my little red Cavalier, and I was in the passenger seat. When I've had a bit to drink, I think that I can have my own personal concert with the radio. So, I started belting out the song, and Tom said, "Is that an angel up there singin'?" (Insert slight southern accent having just moved from N. Carolina). I smiled on the inside for the first time in a long time.

A few days later, I decided that I wanted to go out with Tom. I got up enough courage (translation: drank 5 beers) and went to his house. I knocked on the door and asked him if he had plans later and if he wanted to grab a few beers. He accepted....the rest is history.

Well, it wasn't always easy. Everyone has their troubles when they are first dating - you have to work out all the wrinkles. In June we were married. It was the happiest day of my life. I didn't know it was possible to have someone love me so much, and for me to love them equally in return. We are a team. He saved me. I was struggling with depression and drinking. I hated myself and my life. He changed all that.

To most people, Tom is quiet, shy, and laid back. To me, he is hilarious, intelligent, and well spoken. I don't think people knew what to make of us when we were first dating. How could this work? We are so different. But we're not. He makes me laugh. I find myself giggling like a little kid in bed when we are just talking. I am able to be myself - completely. He doesn't judge me, but rather gives his honest opinion. I know he will always tell me the truth. He helps me be a better person - a stronger person. I don't let people walk on me anymore - well, at least not as much as I used to. I believe in who I am and what I have to offer people. All because of him.

I am so proud of my husband. He is thoughtful and careful. He plans. He works hard. He researches. He has a goofy side (that I think I see more than anyone). I sometimes say he is like having a good girlfriend for a roommate. He indulges my whims and gives me advice. He is an amazing father to his daughter, and it lets me geta glimpse into what he will be like with our kids. Taryn loves her dad, and he loves her so much. I don't know how he deals with her being so far away, but he manages to be a great dad even when she is hundreds of miles away - when my dad couldn't do it living in the same town. Taryn is a lucky girl to have Tom for her daddy.

I love him more everyday, and even though he hates his birthday, I celebrate it. It gives me the chance to celebrate him and the person that he is.

I love you, Tom. Happy Birthday!

Thank you Tam

St. Angelo-Lickin' Good.

Yep, that was my slogan at the Sloganizer. Of course it was.

And this one....


It's That Christie Feeling.


I could play with this all afternoon...but alas, I must work.